[Bee123]

Feeling much more positive again now. I put my plan in action yesterday. Didn’t get tempted to play any free spins. a lot of the sites don’t give you them anyway until after you make a deposit. No money to deposit so was easy enough.
i-did-it, will look at gambling blocker when i have some money. Does this work on phones too?
Some of the sites make it really easy to self exclude and others seem to make it as difficult as possible.
I realise the only way i can stop is to have all the blocks in place as i have zero will power once the urges come. I find them impossible to fight.
Onwards and upwards

[Bee123]

You are an angel. Want to thankyou for getting back to me last night with some encouragement, it was just what i needed.
Nobody apart from my husband knows my dirty little secret so it was good to have somewhere to go, to let it all out.
Hope you are having a good day x

[Bee123]

I’m hanging in there i-did-it. Love your user name by the way.
No way i’m giving in that easily.
Today has been crap, just want to stay in bed and not face the world, the usual gambling hangover.
Got to get more blocks in place, this is the only thing that can stop me once i get the urge. It’s scary how i can be so determined one minute and the next i’m looking for a new site to gamble on.
Hubby is no help really bless him, he gives into me too easily.
Last night’s blip has caused me to gamble away this months mortgage payment so got to make excuses as to why we are going to be late paying it (so stressful).
Soooo..my plan is to go through all casino sites with the game i like to play, join up and self exclude straight away before hubby gets paid. Tomorrow night we will go to a few bookies about half hour drive away and self exclude from them. I have only been there once or twice, but i know how my mind works and it will tell me to go there if i can’t play online.
Writing this down is helping me already. Feeling a bit more positive again now…phew

[Bee123]

Thankyou so much for dropping by my thread and leaving me a lovely post.
I have read through some of your thread and you seem so positive, which is lovely to see.
I have had a bit of a disaster tonight but, take comfort from your positivity and hope to get there myself at some point.
Keep up the good work x

[Bee123]

Omg, i’ve done it again….already. I despair of ever being able to do this, it seems impossible. Is it possible??
I want to stop so so bad.
I am going to drive my husband away if i carry on. He gives in to me all the time cos he knows how much i grieve for my boy every day, but this is not fair on him.
i-did-it, thankyou so very much for your post, it bought tears to my eyes.
I tried councelling one time but, found it too difficult at the time. Maybe i should give it another go as i have so much inside that that would probably be better out.
I am ashamed of myself right now for being so weak, but i wanted to be honest or else what’s the point?
God give me strength to get through the next few days and continue the fight…..i feel so tired of it all

[Bee123]

Well, here i am again, ready for my second day of the battle to kick this horrendous addiction.
Thankyou for replying Mav, i have posted to you on your thread.
Not really sure what to say, do i just waffle about anything and everything?
I really, really want to kick my addiction but have no faith in myself right now, i have failed so many times.
I have banned from land based casino’s which definitely has put a stop to that, but bookies and online is another story. You ban from one and there are hundreds more.
I know i need to get my head in the right place if i am ever going to do this…..i have been on and off anti depressants for a long time now, but always take myself off them after a while as i worry about becoming addicted to them.
I think i have a bit of an addictive personality, what with with drink, cigarrettes, gambling. Oh god, that sounds awful when i write it down…..well actually when i gamble i drink a lot and smoke a lot more than i would normally so there you go.
Well that got a few thoughts down for today.
Will be back again tomorrow or before if i feel the need

[Bee123]

Hi Mav, just wanted to thankyou for your supportive post on my thread.
I have had a little read through some of your posts and can see you have been on a huge rollercoaster ride uuugghhhh, it’s awful isn’t it.
Good to see you are having a good spell of not gambling, keep up the good work.
I hear what you’re saying about having a sensitive nature (i’m the same)…..i find that i go over and over things in my mind and let it get to me, which then gives me the excuse that i need to gamble to clear the thoughts from my head.
Hope you have a good day today with no stress.
Take care

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