[Bee123]

Callmecrazy, thank you for the advice on my thread.
What you said is so true, I cannot afford to have one more spin on a slot machine as I know that is all it will take to draw me back in. Whoever designs those games know exactly how our addictive brains work. I see the symbols and hear the noises in my sleep goddam it.
Glad to read that you are feeling positive today and getting ready to put barriers in place. I’m hoping having barriers up will stop the horrible urges.
Enjoy your day with no gambling involved.

[Bee123]

Money went into my bank account overnight so just transferred it to an account that I don’t have online banking for. This account has only a cashpoint card which I am giving to my daughter later, as I have a habit of withdrawing the cash and putting it back in current account as soon as I get an urge to gamble.
I feel really strong and determined this time around to kick this addiction to the kerb, I am sick to death of letting it control my life.

[Bee123]

So very sorry you’re struggling. Have you had help with the depression? I think that can lead to gambling, then the gambling makes the depression worse, one vicious circle. If you haven’t had help with it please get yourself to a doctor as its very worrying that you got to the point of attempting to hang yourself.
It’s great that you’ve come here, where you can get some support. Maybe knowing you are not dealing with thing’s alone will help you in time, I really hope so.
Hope to see an update soon.

[Bee123]

Callmecrazy, couldn’t agree more, the machines are designed to draw you in and take all your money, all the near misses making you think you’re going to win big any minute. Saying that, even though I know what’s happening I continue to do the same thing over and over.

I know I can never win at gambling as even when I win I hardly ever collect and even when I do it goes back eventually.

Well, today’s another day, no urges yet but I know that can change like the flick of a switch. I’m ready and waiting to see off any urges that may occur today!!

[Bee123]

Thanks Sara for your reply, I have a savings account that has a card just for withdrawing cash but, many a time I have transferred money into it, only to get the gambling bug and go into the bank and put it back into my current account (oh the joys). It doesn’t really help with having the bank right on my doorstep. Steely determination is going to be required I think.

I have a couple of short trips away planned this year and a trip to USA later in the year that I am so looking forward to, really don’t want to mess up. Hopefully using this site and coming up with a way to keep my money out of harms way will ensure all goes to plan.

I know exactly what you mean when you say how quickly your mind set can change when trying to stop gambling, one minute so determined to stop, to the next depositing in a damned casino. I hate, hate, hate having this addiction.

Today is going really well anyway, no urges thank goodness!!

[Bee123]

Hi i did it,
Just left a post on your journal. I get you about checking in. Need to make sure i don’t start slacking even when i haven’t gambled.
Well, it hasn’t been easy this week that’s for sure. The urges come most days and it’s a battle not to give in to them. I’m hoping that with time i won’t get them every day. It’s so draining having to fight them.
Hopefully next week will be easier

[Bee123]

Hey there,
Still here, thanks for checking up on me. Been busy with grandkids last few days. They wear me out bless them. 2 and 4 years old, full of beans. Love ’em to bits , but phew you forget how much hard work they can be.
Working on the body sound’s great……with the help of a hunky personal trainer, even better, go you.
Off to eat tea now, then watch x factor. That’s my Saturday night this week.
Have a great weekend.

[Bee123]

Good afternoon i did it,
Oooh go you with your cleaning. Bit of a clean freak myself, can’t cope with mess. I think i get it from my mom, she would go mad if there was a crumb on the floor. I’m one of 10 children and our house was always immaculate.
I find cleaning therapeutic…..good for stress ha, no wonder my house is so tidy.
You sound very positive and in a good place. This must help with your recovery…..i find the lower my mood, the more i want to gamble.
Keep up the good work x

[Bee123]

Well done Steven on going to GA. Sounds like you took to it right away. The thought of going there scares me to death for some reason.
Keep it up, all the best

[Bee123]

Morning i-did-it,
Hope the head’s better….hate those wine heads the morning after. Not as bad as the gambling head though.
It was a beautiful day here yesterday, sunny and warm for this time of year, but looks like we have your rain today. Unlike you i hate the rain, i would be happy if it would rain all night and be sunny all day, ha dream on.
That’s scary what you said there about playing at sites you were banned from, just show’s how desperate us gambler’s get if we are willing to risk that. Imagine winning a huge jackpot and not being able to claim it!
I haven’t gambled again since my last disaster, think it was a week ago now, whoop……longest i’ve gone in ages. Doesn’t really sound much but good for me and probably saved me a good few hundred pound.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, headache free hopefully

[Bee123]

Hi Lees,
I feel for you after reading your last post, it could have been me writing that. Those damn bookies. Could you try self excluding? i know it’s hard as there are so many, but if you can start with the one’s closest to you they let you include 3 more shops. Take some photo’s with you (2 for each shop).
I also worry that i will never be normal again, but other addictions can be beat so this one can too.
Keep your chin up

[Bee123]

Thankyou ladies,
Love your comment about the sparkly sandals singing to you i did it, haha.
I have my plans made for today to keep myself busy.. As you say Vera, one day at a time.
I’m feeling much safer knowing that i have self excluded from as many places as i could. I have certain games that i like to play, other games don’t really interest me.
I have no intentions of hunting down anything else to play and get myself addicted to.
Come on Bee, you can do this

[Bee123]

Good morning i-did-it
Just read on one of your posts where you said
I can’t let go of gambling cos i might win,
This is sooo me. I don’t even know why i think like that cos even when i win i give it all back. Even when i press that collect button you can guarantee i would go back the next day and the day after that until it was all gone, along with a lot more.
Winnings for me is just about more time to play and zone out.
Hope you’re having a great gamble free day, doing whatever makes you happy

[Bee123]

Hi RS, How are you doing?
Hope thing’s are going ok. I am new here myself, and hope we can all support each other.
Keep coming here and posting, even if you have slip ups, don’t deal with it alone.

[Bee123]

Hi Brendan, just want to wish you well on your journey.
You done well to give up before so you can do it again. Your wife sounds a great support to you, even though she is finding it hard to trust you at the moment.
If you work hard at quitting i’m sure you can earn back the trust in time.
I am just starting out on my own journey to quit this addiction and look forward to a future that doesn’t include gambling.
We make life so much harder than it should be when we blow all our money, take out loans, credit cards, late paying bills etc, it’s just more stress, stress, stress.
Stay strong

[Author]

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