[Barbstl]

19 Days gamble free! So I’d be lying if I said I hadnt had any thoughts about gambling. But I’ve not had a major urge so just forgot about it and focused on why I started this gamble free journey. I don’t ever want to go back to that negative point.

Ive been invited out to Bingo tonight but politely declined. I did contemplate it, thinking I could just go along play some bingo, ignore the slots (which were my downfall). But ive come too far to chance anything right now. And I don’t want to risk that urge when I get home to just stick a little bit somewhere online and then fall back into that false sense of expecting a win – no matter how big or small it will still start that slippery slope.

I just feel so much more positive and ‘lighter’ without all the dread and desperation gambling brought for me. I still have a long way to go to sort out all the debt but with a clear head and trying to set realistic goals I feel that it is positively possible. And even though it’s only been a few weeks really it feels like that horrible gambling point was a lifetime ago! Still going gamble free 🙂

[Barbstl]

Hi Sean.

One step at a time as they say and deciding to do something is the first step. A major step at that.
Firstly tackle the gambling and take away any access you have to gambling by self excluding on any sites you use, if you use online gambling there is software you can get for your devices to block access to online gambling.

It is possible to turn around from this. Remember to stay focused, positive and be realistic. One day at a time. I started with a Goal to reach 7 days without gambling, taking one day at a time and ticking each day off as I went. Getting to day 7 gamble free felt really good and each day i thought less about wanting to gamble.
I also found keeping a journal on here really positive and the help from the online community really encouraging.

You can do it! Just take one day at a time.

[Barbstl]

It took me a few of those times of quitting and chasing to finally get to the point I am. I agree with lizbeth4 above about putting blocks on to stop access and self excluding from all gambling accounts you have access to gamble on.
Personally I am trying to roll with all the negativity I feel towards gambling now to back up the strength to quit and stay quit. Remember how it feels. It’s always one day at a time. But start again. Keeping adding to your journal and stay focused. You can still do this.

[Barbstl]

Seven Days Here We Are!

So seven days clear today! It feels like such a stepping stone to make it this far. Still feeling positive.
This time feels much better than any previous attempts to quit. Instead of wanting to gamble again to chase the losses I’m more focused on working hard to rebuild everything. I think accepting it’s not going to happen over night or even a few weeks or months has given me the acceptance to start from now and focus on a long term plan rather than a quick fix.

Let’s make the next seven days…

Slow and steady xx

[Barbstl]

Day three has come and gone and I’ve just realised this morning I had no urge or even spared a thought to gambling last night! And it was payday too!
I think because I literally have no spare money now i don’t feel like just putting a little deposit on (which is usually what leads into the bigger deposits). So as desperate as I felt to chase the losses before now after all the negative feelings and literally having nothing left to gamble with I think it’s given me the platform I needed to deal with this.
It’s hard to not gamble when things are going well so when all the wins kept happening i still had in the back of my mind that I would win it all back. Until I did and then gambled it away again!
I know at the moment it feels quite easy because I still feel so negative towards it all and I feel like I have a plan. Which I suppose is why I’m keeping a journal here so I can remind myself what it was like if I do feel the gambling demon return.
I have had the ‘Thats enough, I won’t do it again’ phases before and within a few weeks started all over again. But they weren’t such big losses before and Financially I hadn’t stretched myself as much to chase it all. But when I think this time the thousands of pounds I’d easily spun away in literally one night was just ridiculous! The difference keeping those big wins would have made! But I also think if I had kept the big wins, how long would it have been before I got sucked back into the cycle of trying to win more again so I probably would have wasted it anyway and eventually got deeper and deeper!

Onto Day four and many more….

[Barbstl]

Thankyou for your messages of encouragement and advice. It really means a lot to have someone listen and offer support!

I’m on Day two and haven’t gambled! Today I self excluded on all the sites I’d been using and strangely did not have the desperation to stick one last deposit in and chance it! Currently feeling like I’ve ended a relationship but I know I’m still running on the terrible guilt and angry fumes from Saturday! But I’m still rolling with it and feeling positive and a lot ‘lighter’ can I say for not gambling.

I’m just trying to channel all the negativity I feel towards gambling right now to keep me pushing away from it. It’s almost like at the moment I’m not trying to swim against the tide because I don’t actually want to gamble right now. I want to get away from all that guilt and anger and frustration gambling has brought for me.

Tomorrow is another day and an added challenge of payday! But I’m trying to focus on my budget I’ve laid out and what my money can actually go towards instead of spinning it away!

It’s early days I know but two days is progress and it’s two days I’ve not actually gambled!

Here’s to Day 3! Xx

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