[asdfghost]

Hey! Long time no see, glad you’re doing well. Thank you for posting.

I just thought about you, opening the threads and here you are. This site has really slowed down for me for some reason, like clicking on any link takes forever, idk what’s the deal with it.

It’s going quite okay for myself, more than a half of year already. Maybe I should post something in my journal too, it’s been a while and it’s buried under all these spam threads now.

[asdfghost]

Hey!

It’s been almost a month, good job man! Great to hear you’re doing well and your life is changing for good. I need to post something too in my journal, it’s been a while since I did that last time. Hope you write something as well haha 🙂

[asdfghost]

Hey, CraigMac

Keep going man, almost 3 weeks now, great job! Wish you a good day 🙂

[asdfghost]

Hey CraigMac,

I feel you, man. Good job staying gamble free so far.

About the site, yeah, you’ve noticed it too. Unfortunately, this place feels like a wasteland most of the times. It’s been worse though. I’d open the journals and not see any activity from real people whatsoever. Even from the regulars like kin. It was a year ago. There was even a partly and complete shutdown of the site. I felt horrible not knowing if it’s gone forever, but it wasn’t for too long, like a couple of days. Then it came back.

Anyway, came to wish you a great day. Thanks for posting, it is quite encouraging!

[asdfghost]

Hey, it is a year!
Congrats!!! 🙂

[asdfghost]

I checked my calculations again: messed a bit with dates, so…
Today is 102nd day of me not gambling!!!! I think it’s huge.

Also.
I passed the defense of my degree work!!!!! My study is practically over! I can rest now… or not, cause my future is still very undecided. But I’ll give you my thoughts on that later.

In other news, I started learning Spanish with Duolingo (I’ll try to do much more than just in-app content though). Why? Well, I’ve always had an idea to learn more languages than just English. It should be valuable. Moreover, you remember I’ve been wanting to escape by studying or working abroad. I’m considering Argentina as a solid choice for immigration of people of my kind. Two-headed rooster red passport doesn’t give you too many choices, yknow? Ha-ha-ha.

But now, I should take a small break. Well-deserved or not, I’ll let it be. We’ll see what’s next. Right?

[asdfghost]

Day 93? I think so.

I have fully finished the text and programming parts for my degree, also improved the presentation quite a bit. Now I’m on the final stretch. A week away. The defense is actually June 17th.

[asdfghost]

Finished my report today and sent for check. Pretty much done!

As for the degree… I need some fixes in my programming part and the presentation for defense. It’s gonna be on 15th of June, the defense. Also until 10th I need to collect all the docs and print full text and bring it to my uni. If I pass the defense, my study is finished. That’s it.

Also, Day 82 today. I’m heading towards the 100 faster than I thought.

[asdfghost]

Day 75. Or so.
I passed my pre-defence!
And a couple of mostly formal subjects of this semester. The only thing left is a report for a course work the harder part of which I’ve already done. It’s called Ray Tracing. Google it, it’s really cool!

I have one more thing to be happy about right now, but that’s not fully done yet so I’m not gonna say anything before everything’s settled. That’s pretty much it.

[asdfghost]

Hey!
Very happy for you, let’s keep the grind going 🙂

[asdfghost]

Hey, kin!
Congrats with your gamble free days.
Appreciate you posting regularly, thank you for that. It motivates me to continue staying free.

[asdfghost]

This reply has been reported for inappropriate content.

A quick update. Day 62? Or 63? Well, practically three months without gambling. I’m doing good.
Currently quite busy with my uni final year project (I found how it’s called in the US; we call it “Diploma work” or simply “Diploma”).
That’s it. Hopefully I’d be graduating soon. At least I hope so.

[asdfghost]

Well, you could’ve already guessed the place I live in, I mentioned a bunch of details in this whole journal but alright. Russia.
So basically yeah, one of a hellhole for sure. No matter how I look at it, my perspectives here are uncertain to put it lightly. I cannot afford myself to stay here for my whole lifetime: it’d be too miserable of a fate. And you may say that I’m exaggerating or just whining. But no, I know what I’m talking about.

Still, with all that said, to make my plans work I need a job. Or just a way to find money. Currently, the only thing that I’m doing is tutoring my younger brother in maths & informatics. Which my father gives me some money for. You can call it a little part-time at home job. And that’s not enough not only for so-called “far-reaching plans” whatever nonsense I made up in my head, that’s not enough for living alone in my hometown, for instance. So that’s how it currently goes. And I’m almost a graduate student. Most of the students in my group in uni are already working.
But the thing is. I’m not even trying to find a job. You remember the story of my first two experiences related to that in last year. Dare not call them job experiences. One was pizza-electric scooter case, another one was informatics exam tutoring. Haven’t heard a word from latter ones still. What a joke.

But my specialty is programming. Software. Computers. How to find a job in that field? Here, it’s practically impossible to do so without a degree. And to be completely honest with you, I’ll say the following. I HIGHLY doubt I’d be appreciated and treated with respect here, like, at all. Even if I have or will have enough professional skills. I’m referring to very basic, simple human relations. That’s because I have an internal conflict with all my current environment. I do not belong here. Various internet communities have been my outlet for a long time. But I want, I really want to have a safe, healthy, normal IRL, as they say. That’s not possible and won’t be in any near future, that’s why I had to develop a couple of ways… so-to-say coping mechanisms. Gaming, chatting online, listening YouTube, music… even gambling, damn it. I’m glad I learnt English to the point when I can freely explore the net, getting the information I need, reading articles, listening to videos, talking with people (with the exception of speaking, my speaking is still bad). I would not have access to the whole new world, if all I knew was my mother tongue, as in the case of most people living here.

So, I guess I still have bright spots in my life. But they are in conflict with the reality that surrounds me and mostly serve as ways of escapism.
Thank you for reading this whole… confession? I don’t think I ever said something like that to anyone but myself.

[asdfghost]

Hey iamhere!

I’ve been doing okay, comparing to the start of year, for sure. No gambling for… 43 days?
As for other things… I’m about to graduate from uni, there’s only two months left and I’m currently working on my graduation work (or paper?), whatever it’s called. It gives you bachelor’s degree.
So I have about a month left to make it before the pre-defense. Need to hurry up as I have almost nothing done at the moment.
In other news, I’ve taken part in a few online tourneys in one of my favorite games. Even won some of them. But the organizers cannot pay the prize to me as I have no PayPal and cannot create an account at all, lmao. Cons of living in uncivilized country, I guess.
Well, overall my mental condition is way better than it was just a month or two before. Though… I have no idea what I want to do after graduation. What I can do. I have an option to try and get through exams to master’s program. It’s pretty difficult and my father said to me that if I manage to pass, he’s gonna “seriously take a thought” whether to let me go abroad. I’m still not an independent adult in my parents’ eyes. And I cannot really argue with that: I have no job, I cannot make money, thus I’m dependant.
So that’s how it is.

[asdfghost]

Day 30.

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