[Annabelle2010]

Hello again.
I read and re read your last post many times Velvet ! Thank you so much, it really helps a lot.
Some things happened and I wish to talk with you about these things.
1) my cg tells me to be aware when I go to my gamanon meetings as some people are weird…and pay attention and bla bla bla..! This is silly. I started to go to these meetings because of my cg not really sure why I needed help when HE the addicted. But I did with no questions every week twice and slowly I started to feel better. Actually, I started to sleep all night through again and it was magic. And now my cg tries to scare me? Do you think he is jealous that I feel good again? There is no one chance that I will stop going my meetings!! This will definitely NOT happen. I disn’t said anything to his words. I was quiet and I left. He noticed. After 45 minutes he called asking me if he may come over for dinner. I said yes. No words about it after.
2. Saturday I had a meeting with a girl friend of mine and he wanted to see me. I told him I am not home sorry. He asked me how long I will be with this friend and I told him I did not know for how long so he asked me if he could stay with the dog?? I said OK. There was a problem with the house keys as he has no house keys anymore so I gave him his keys (that I had took away from him) so that he could enter the house. I got back almost three hours later all was well. We had dinner together and then he left.
3. Sunday he arrived home at 8.30 am, he said he had a free Sunday and he arrived with some sweets 🙂 and we went to walk the dog. Spring has arrived, it was wonderful. While we were at the park he received a phone call from work and they asked him if he could help and he said yes in a half an hour I will be there !!!! Well, weren’t we supposed to have a nice Sunday all together??? Same old same. In one minute the whole magic was gone. He said he was all for us for the day and then half an hour later all what he said was vanished!?!. You know what? I think he is a workaholic and a cg, too!
Yesterday I read all about it in the net and yes he is a workaholic, too!
So I guess there will be more loneliness in my life :((
Some weeks ago I had asked him if he wanted to sleep with us for the night and he looked happy (it was poring) and he said YES. Just sleeping. That night I woke up about 4 times, bad memories.
About one week ago he acted as if he wished to sleep with us again so I asked him again if he wished to sleep with us and he said NO. Last night he said he was sooooo tired and was falling asleep so I asked him again ‘do you wish to sleep with us…?’He said NO. Ok, from now on I never ask him again if he wants to sleep with us. Is he playing?
Sometimes it is really difficult to stay calm.
I do not know if it was a mistake to ask him to sleep with us ?
Maybe as you suggested I should not expect something deep from him. Is this the case? Yes? 🙂
Does it make sense workaholic and a cg together? Both addictions?
What do I have to do? How do I have to deal with him?
Please help.
Any suggestion you can give me I would appreciate it very much.
Thank you in advance for your time.
Very kind regards,
Annabelle

[Annabelle2010]

Hello again.
Sorry I couldn’t join your F&F group.
It is weird. Sometimes I feel okay and sometimes I don’t. Maybe I am thinking too much.
My cg asked me if he can come with me and our dog to the park for a walk and so this morning we went for 2 hours to the park. It was nice. We talked a bit and we laughed too. I do not know, but sometimes he seems sad.
I do not know which steps forward I have to take. I am waiting to see facts and not just words.
I do not know what to do for now and I won’t do anything unless I am sure what I am doing is more thn right. I probably made already too many mistakes and I do not want to make more of them.
So any suggestion you can give me I would be happy to get some advice and help.
Thank you in advance for any help you can give me.
Kind regatds,
Ab
.

[Annabelle2010]

Dear Velvet,
first of all I want to tell you that I read all your comments and I felt great relief.
Thank you for your timely response.
Now to your questions:
– Did my husband show any improvement ? R: Well, at Christmas my cg showed up with flowers. My cg calls me more often. Twice he brought me sweets 🙂 . As soon as he enters my home he asks me if I want him to repair things and he does repairs and helps. Lately (last 2 months) he also wired money to me and sent picture of receipt.
Yes, my cg is attending GA meetings weekly once.
My cg is living in a bed and breakfast for the last 4/5 months.
I am also happy I have found this site.
I think that my cg is trying really hard.
I know my husband is a good man. It is the monster in him that is ugly and horrible!
i noticed that I am much more sensible and emotional thn before (before I found out). I think I was worn out, exhausted and just empty of all.
My little dog is a God’s gift. I adore my cutie, she makes me smile even in the most darkest days.
“Unfortunately” tonightI ha ve a GamAnon meeting from 7:30 pm to 9:30 pm so I won’t be able to meet you at the F&F group. I have GamAnon meeting Tues and Thurs (8:00pm to 10pm). Too bad I cannot read what has been said in the F&F later on :(.
It is okay through.
Again, thank you for taking your time to anwer me.
Wish you a nice day.
Ab

[Author]

Posts