[Amber_Disfordone]

I plan to come here daily and remember all the things I always seem to forget and ***** my days and one day at a time hope to get to the number that is all the days of my life

[Amber_Disfordone]

Losing the money has sucked, but by no means has it been the worst thing I’ve lost to this addiction. It’s time trust love things that will take far longer to get back than the money and some of which just like the money I will never get back. My last relapse my best friend is in town from New York and instead of spending the time with her I gave it to my addiction the time before that it was my birthday and instead of starting the year off being excited for the prospects I was depressed because I’m still doing the same old shit the time before that was Mother’s Day when I should’ve been at home with my family but once again I was giving everything I had to my addiction. On Friday during my last relapse I’m saying to the players on the table with me as long as I have a chip I have a chance but I didn’t realize as long as I’m playing with the chips and have no chance

[Amber_Disfordone]

Wow reading your story felt like you wrote my own, but much more eloquently… even looking at the date was within a week of my lat day one in August and I did not gamble until a few days ago and I was so looking forward to seeing 3 months of being free, but I didn’t make it so here I am day 2 sad and scared because why does gambling have so much power over me. I’m saying the same thing I have said every time I never want to feel this way again I ever want to hurt my family again and I always mean it but so far have never made it… I hope you are doing much better Jen 3 because if you can do it maybe I can do it too

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