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oh my goodness that sounds awful. I won’t say that I understand how you are feeling, but i’d like you to know that you’re not alone in this. There are other wives out there who are going through similar things and would be more than happy to help. My husband and I divorced 3 months ago. I won’t lie, sometimes I miss being in a relationship, and having that extra person in the house, but i know it would be better for myself and my child now that i’ve divorced him. Dear, take care of yourself. I don’t want to recommend divorce because i’m not in your situation and I don’t know what you need, but if you do decide to get one, there are plenty of tools online. Ones similar to http://www.thistoo.co will give you an idea of how things will be split. Make sure you get all the help you can get. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Keeping you in my thoughts.