[alice]

Yes it will pass but that doesn’t always make it easier at the time does it? Allow yourself to be in the moment and feel it even if it’s not all a bed of roses. Down days are all part of normal life so sit with it and tomorrow may be a better one. Be kind to yourself and do what you need today. Eat the things that make you happy, do the things that you enjoy. Snuggle and rest when you can. Just don’t beat yourself up for having a down day and go with it.

[alice]

Hey Nicole

Well done on finding this forum and reaching out. Cutting up cards sounds like it may be a way to help but I fear it won’t stop you gambling completely as you will still have access to cash. I know you said there isn’t anyone you want to tell of your problem but maybe think about finding just one person you can trust. Being accountable can be a huge help. Stay on heee though and keep talking.

[alice]

Casinos were also one of my main poisons. I self excluded from my local casinos which certainly helped the immediate problem but as Laura has touched on its not the whole answer. There is a change of the way we think and cope with events and feelings needing to happen before a problem with gambling can really be sorted. You need a three printed attack – prevent access to gambling facilities, prevent access to financial resources to gamble with and then some kind of therapy support to help with the psychological side of things!

[alice]

hey kathryn!!

great to see you. That was your journal?! Wow there I was thinking that it was mine just goes to show that memory really isn’t something to trust! Who knows what mine was called then as I have absolutely no clue! 

Whatever reason you had for deleting your old journal don’t forget the title of it. Believe that you can have a future gamble free believe! 

[alice]

Hey Kathryn, I am one of those thatnhave come and gone over the years. I want to give you some hope regarding the reason that people may not be here. For some it could well be because they are gambling but it won’t be true for all. I have been very much gambling free and so much so that I have been living life without it being a second thought for me and haven’t needed this extra support. I’m sure that will be true for others also. It can be done. 

[alice]

Hey Laura thank you for your kind words of thinking of me on my recent post. I’m just catching up with you by going through this whole thread but you’ll have to bare with me as it may take some time! I see you’re currently gambling free though so that’s great news. I will be praying that it will become easier for you to not gamble though and not still a daily or even weekly/monthly struggle. For me not gambling just comes second nature to me in the way that gambling used to be. I hope that can be true for you too in the future.

[alice]

Hey vera, I am using the same log on as before so yes my user name is the same. Ralph Emerson Waldo has some amazing quotes and they have always been some of my favourite so yes that is likely to have been me but I dont see where debt management is on the forum? I don’t think that would have been my journal although something I would have posted I’m sure! I did search for my username on the forum search facility and  thread called Believe did appear and was dated 2009 so I’m sure that was my journal but unfortunately I wasn’t able to click on it to read any of it so it could be as Charles said lost through the reincarnations the sites been through. Anyway I will wait for Harry to return from his holiday and see if he can work any of his magic! 

[alice]

Awww Charles and Laura I’m very touched that either of you remember me! It feels like such a long time that I was here and Laura you thinking of me is such a touching thought. Charles I will never forget the positive impact you’ve had on my life.

I am currently doing very well. Gambling no longer plays an active part in my life and hasn’t done for several years. I got married in 2014 and 2.5 years ago my husband and I had a son. I work one evening a week as a youth worker but what I treasure most in my life at the moment is that I am able to mostly be a stay at home Mum and get to spend my days with our gorgeous boy. I know that I am very lucky to be in a financial position to be able to not work full time so I can spend these early years that go so quick with my son. If I was still gambling as I was back then I know this would never have been possible.

As well as not gambling my mental health has been very stable. I had to come off the medication I was on for bipolar as soon as I wanted to start trying to conceive as it was a drug very dangerous in pregnancy. I haven’t been back on it since and so have now been medication free for 4 years.

Life isn’t always easy. My husband and I have been through a rollercoaster of traumas, events and subsequently emotions over the past two years or so but one thing I can now honestly say is that life’s shit is much easier to handle when you don’t throw gambling into the mix! In the past I used gambling as a crutch or as a mask, a way to get through difficulties but as I’m sure everyone on here now knows in some way or another that is completely wonky logic!

How are you doing Laura? I hope you are well and staying strong.

Charles I would appreciate it if you could speak with Harry to find out whether it is possible to retrieve my old journals (I think I actually had two!) but totally understand if they’ve disappeared into the ether.

[alice]

Hi Bettie
How true!!! We never talk about our losses. Maybe we should do it might remind us of how futile the whole thing is!
Alice "Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

[alice]

Hey Kathryn,
As I’m back I thought I’d drop you a line to see how you’re doing. It seems from reading your journal you’re doing good! It sounds like you had a fantastic time at the tennis – I’m jealous. I’ve always wanted to go to Wimbledon but haven’t managed it yet.
Alice x"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

[alice]

Kathryn,
sorry you’re feeling so anxious. don’t worry about something that hasn’t yet happened. My god if i could have £1 for each time someone’s told me that over the last two weeks I would be rich now! But it is a wise saying. I know it is easier said that done! I’m sure onces you have explained to Dames the situation he is NOT going to think you are gambling. It’s not what you do any more and I’m sure he knows it.
It’s great to hear you won that competition! A christmas miracle – love it!
Stay strong hun you’re doing ok,
Alice x"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

[alice]

Hey kathryn
sounds like you’ve got so much racing around your mind at the moment! You sound pretty stressed. I know that you are really busy at the moment and have your family to think about but maybe finding an hour each week to spend some time just for yourself may help. Whether that’s an hour in the bath, an hour going for a walk or for a swim or even maybe going to the pictures on your own and catching a film? It may help you to destress a little bit!
I don’t know if you’re like me and do lists but I find they can help when you have so much to think about. Write a list of the things that need doing or a list of the things you need to pay for and how much it will be. Just a thought.
Oh my god listen to me doling out all this advice when my life isn’t particularly in anything other than a mess right now!
Can totally understand your worry about your son. he’s your boy and you want the best for him. Let us know how it goes with the pediatrician on friday.
You’re doing great with allowing time for the gambling urges to pass before acting on them. i think you’ve hit the nail on the head with the extra expenses of christmas coming up causing them. i know that when i worry about money gambling pops into my head. Makes no sense  in reality does it?!
You’re doing well. Tell yourself that each day because you do deserve to hear it.
Alice x"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

[alice]

hey kathryn,
i’m sorry that i have been slack on reading and posting on other people’s jounals recently. i have been completely opposite to you and been posting lots on my own journal but ignoring everyone elses. i’ve been a bit too wrapped up in myself recently.
good luck with the meeting with bailey’s counsellor. i know you are really worried and concerned about him. i hope that this meeting will be helpful and that the counsellor may be able to offer some advice for a constructive way forward!
i’m now going to be very smug by saying that i have done all of my christmas shopping! i know that doesn’t help you when you’re panicking about all the things you’ve gotta get done but i just wanted to get it in! ha ha! To be honest i’ve only managed it because the benefits cocked up big time last month and paid me double. They will ask for it back when they notice but hey an interest free loan – you can’t answer! I thought that using it to buy all my christmas presents was at least something productive and not just frittering it away on the rubbish i normally end up managing to spend all my money on! It’s meant that I haven’t had to undo all my debt repayments over the last year by using my credit cards to get presents. I have 7 nieces and nephews, 3 brothers and their spouses and my parents to buy for so it really does mount up!
Your christmas tree sounds great! I haven’t got one yet. I haven’t even decided if i’m going to bother. I don’t have any decorations as I had to give them away a couple of years ago when i moved house and no longer had the space to store them. where i live now i do have the space so i can easily get some and keep them for next year but it’s all the cost of buying them in the first place. i’m also not going to be here from 23rd dec for a week as i’m going to my sister’s for christamas. it might be nice to have some decorations though from now to cheer me up a bit! i’m sure i’ll make up my mind soon!
anyway take care and stay strong
alice x"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

[alice]

Hey Bettie,
Sounds like it was a great christmas party! Well done on not giving in to the temptation of raffles and 50/50 splits. You’re doing well. It’s a good feeling when you’re able to give to charity also isn’t it? I know that I feel better when I make a donation to charity.
Boy the saying, "what goes around comes around" sounds like it’s very true in your case. You make a cash and toy donation to charity and then someone gives you a very generous gift card of $50! I know you certainly didn’t make the donation in order to get anything back but that just makes you even more deserving of the gift you got.
enjoy decorating your house. I am still undecided of whether to get a tree or not this year. I’m not here from 23rd dec for a week as i’m going to my sister’s for christmas. the cost of a tree and decorations is all money that i’m not flushed with at the moment too. But it may be a good way to cheer me up. If I do do it it will probably be done on a spur of a moment and i just go out and buy a tree then and there.
stay strong,
alice x"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

[alice]

Hey Bettie,
I’m sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pleased to hear you have managed to self exclude from michigan! Congratulations! K9 is a free blocker and I’ve heard some good things about it! I discovered it myself when looking for a blocker for Ob that would work for the Applemac. It certainly won’t hurt for you to try it!
I’m so proud of you hun!
Alice x"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

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