[alex277366]

Hi all, I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been doing pretty good. My mood has been a lot better and I haven’t been tempted to gamble or spend excessively. I hope everyone else is doing well also! Looking forward to making 3 months soon

[alex277366]

It’s been a really brutal week. I feel like I’m falling into the kinds of negative thinking patterns where I think “well nothing matters anyway, might as well waste my money since the future is bleak and uncertain.” The important thing is I haven’t actually done that; I haven’t gambled or deviated from my plan, and I’ve reached out to my supports. But damned if it isn’t an uphill struggle everyday.

[alex277366]

So according to the app tracker I downloaded, it’s been one month since I wasted money on gambling! I’m happy about this accomplishment. Apparently during that time I have saved almost $1000 that I would have otherwise spent based on my past habits. I’m having a hard time not kicking myself over how much I wasted chasing winnings prior to that and going *what if” which is unhelpful. I’m trying to reframe and just be proud of myself for being more responsible going forward. The majority of that money is going to paying off bills as planned, and I’m pleased that I made a sizable dent in them whereas in previous months I would have just accumulated more debt, so at least I’m moving forward not backwards. I have reserved a little for small luxuries to reward myself (mostly coffee) but otherwise I’m being really self disciplined.

[alex277366]

I didn’t realize how sad gambling was making me until I quit. I thought there was a certain thrill anticipating moving up in the ranks, but I was constantly met with crushing disappointment that was leaving me feeling hollow and anxious inside. Even though my financial situation hasn’t dramatically improved, and evn though this year has been so difficult for everyone, over the past three weeks since I quit I’ve caught myself smiling and laughing more; I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. It’s a good feeling.

[alex277366]

Got an email yesterday from the gambling app I deleted about new features and incentives they had. I can’t lie that I wasn’t tempted to redownload it and take a look- but I know that isn’t helpful for my journey. I deleted the email and changed my email preferences to not receive more, which made me feel proud of myself.

[alex277366]

It’s been a little over 14 days since I gambled, and I haven’t really been tempted to very often. Whenever I get a stray thought, I’ve been doing something constructive like exercising, or spending time with my wife. To be honest, I thought it’d been longer since I hadn’t checked; but I have to keep reminding myself that it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

[alex277366]

Tuesday and Saturday were my normal days where I would spend gambling money, due to earning extra ‘coins’ on those days. I’m glad to say that while I’ve been tempted to redownload the app a few times, I have another app on my phone that shows me just how much I’ve saved by not gambling- in only two weeks, it’s around $300, money I’ve used far more sensibly. So I’m holding strong so far!

[alex277366]

Oh, I need to clarify- I was gambling away my personal spending money, but I’m at least happy to say that I also have a joint account with my wife for paying living expenses and doing nice things for ourselves that I wasn’t touching. One of the reasons I knew I had a problem was I was starting to look at that money and consider dipping into it to support my habit, which I’m glad I was able to stop myself from doing. The main thing though is my debt plan is only going to be from my personal expenses, so we’ll still have money to do nice things and such, because I agree that’s important for self-care.

[alex277366]

Thank you for asking! It’s actually my first Friday where I get paid biweekly. I started my plan this morning where I pay my debts off first, and only save a little leftover for emergencies. It was difficult because I had to pay off the credit card debt I accumulated from gambling last month, but it’s a reminder not to do that in the future. If I can keep it up consistently, I’m looking at 48 months to pay everything off, which isn’t terrible in the grand scheme of things. Despite leaving me kind of broke to where I was before, at least I’m not throwing away half my check on frivalous gambling desperate for a big win, so I actually feel a lot less anxious than when I had more money. I’ll continue to keep you guys posted- hope you are doing well also.

[alex277366]

Thanks! I’m doing well so far. I’m dreading Friday a little because that’s when I get my paycheck, but I have a plan in place for how to manage that (with the support of my wife) so I’m not tempted to gamble it, and I feel pretty confident about the plan. I’ll keep everyone posted with how things go.

[alex277366]

Deleted the online crowdfunding/gambling app from my phone. I went back and forth about it all day, about when I would finally delete it for real. I kept thinking that I would do it at some point in the future, but that’s just enabling and sabotaging behavior. It’s been such a big part of my life for the last two years- the numbers after my name are the ID number for the app, to remind myself it was toxic- but I already feel an enormous relief after having deleted it, like a weight is off of my shoulders. It’s a good feeling. Now the really hard work begins, but I’m weirdly optimistic about that.

[alex277366]

Ik ben op dag 2 van het besluit om te stoppen, dus 9 dagen is een doel voor mij – vergeet niet dat hoe kort het ook lijkt alsof je zonder gokken bent gegaan, je een inspiratie bent voor de mensen achter je ! Geniet van het meer, het klinkt alsof het heel mooi en vredig wordt!

[alex277366]

Jeg er på dag 2 med å bestemme meg for å slutte, så 9 dager er et mål for meg- ikke glem at uansett hvor lite tid det virker som om du har gått uten pengespill, er du en inspirasjon for menneskene bak deg ! Nyt innsjøen, det høres ut som om det blir veldig hyggelig og fredelig!

[alex277366]

I’m on day 2 of resolving to quit, so 9 days is a goal for me- don’t forget that no matter how little time it seems like you’ve gone without gambling, you’re an inspiration to the people behind you! Enjoy the lake, it sounds like it will be really nice and peaceful!

[alex277366]

В ден 2 съм, когато решавам да се откажа, така че 9 дни са цел за мен- не забравяйте, че колкото и малко време да изглежда, че сте минали без хазарт, вие сте вдъхновение за хората зад вас ! Насладете се на езерото, звучи сякаш ще бъде наистина хубаво и спокойно!

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