[Adam26]

Noting much to report today. Just checking in. Didn’t get paid today. Had to take some money out my savings to cover a few outgoings. Need to concentrate more on saving! Bought a few things recently I didn’t need.

[Adam26]

I know what your saying and I also appreciate people’s comments and advice. But to be honest, I’m doing this for me, so any negative feedback would be met the same way as positive feedback. As I mentioned before though, I know what my vices are and if ever I come to the day where I’m using my own money to gamble on a machine with the intention of winning for my own benefit, it’ll be the next thing I post about on here. I know what I need to stop doing and so far, in my eyes, I’ve stopped doing it. Sure, I play a risky game at times but I like to test myself occasionally. Anyway, cheers for the comments people. I don’t consider myself an inspiration but if people like reading, then I’ll keep posting.

[Adam26]

A while back I decide that instead of saving my tips as pound coins and taking them home, I’d save them as pound coins at work. Then when I had enough to make a £20 bag of ones I’d change it to a twenty note. Then save the notes in a tin in the safe. The plan being to pay my rent with it or just save up to a grand then stick it into the bank. I’m currently on £260 which is pretty good considering some of the stingy gits that drink in my club!

[Adam26]

I know what your all saying. But we all have our vices and I know what mine is. It’s a very dangerous and very risky game to play, but I need to control my own demons. For me it is and always has been bandits and video slots. Nothing else! If I can control my urges around them I can do anything. I understand it wasn’t my wisest move, but I’m happy knowing that at this moment in time, it hasn’t effected my attitude towards staying away! I’ve no desire to play for myself or with my own money!
Adam 1-0 Gambling

[Adam26]

So I did something a bit (maybe) silly last night. The 20p bandit in the club, as I’ve mentioned before, always lets the gamblers know when it’s ready to pay. Last night, it was ready to pay. So a big gambler I know and used to gamble with a lot decided he’d go for it. So he did, and quickly ran out of cash. I know he’s good for it, so I was happy to lend him the money till he dropped it. The thing is, it took him ages, and when I was clearing up at the end of the night, he was still there! Quite often he’d be the only person left and he’d be so sick of playing it, he’d let me take over. Last night was no exception and before I even had chance to think about it, he’d gone to the toilet and asked me to play it. I found myself right back in the groove like I’d never stopped. Took about 10 minutes before I dropped the £250 for him.
Two things I can take away from this though.
1) It wasn’t my money, so I had no financial gain or loss.
2) I haven’t had a single temptation to do it again.
Is this progress, I like to think so…

[Adam26]

I managed to make it through yesterday without smashing anything to bits. Coors came at half 11 and everything was semi fine with the world. Still feel a bit funny, but that might be coz I’m put off by food at the moment.
I hit a small bump in my savings road today. I’d just moved over £200 of my wages into my savings when an offer impossible to turn down (to someone like me) presented itself. I’m a football fan. I’m a Liverpool fan. Anyone in my lifetime will tell you that the 25th of May 2005 was the highlight of their supporting life. When Liverpool lifted the European cup for a fifth time. Now, to anyone like me, who has an interest in signed Liverpool memorabilia will tell you… 2005 items signed by the whole squad are like rocking horse shit! In the group I’m part of, out of however many hundreds of us there are, there’s maybe 4 or 5 of us who have items fully signed by the squad. Notice I said US dear reader. Mine is a champions league shirt worn by John Arne Riise in the semi against Chelsea. It’s something I’m desperate never to have to sell. Anyway, to mark the 10 year anniversary next month 5times and Jamie Carragher’s charity are doing a run of 500 prints signed by the whole squad who will be over for the anniversary celebration night. For the princely sum of £295 I could own one of these prints…
and I will!

[Adam26]

I know what you mean. I think I had some of my worst gambling sprees after an argument or a fall out with someone. Thinking it might cheer me up. I inevitably never did! Although this has happened many times previous, last night was more to do with some dodgy food I believe. Something I’m still feeling the effects of today.
Got in work at half 8 this morning. Cleaned the lines. Thwaites delivery came on time. Just sat about now waiting for Coors to turn up. This pisses me off to extreme levels as I usually finish at half 10 and go back at 3. These assholes will have me waiting till half 12 and still not turn up, completely wasting my day. It’s obviously not enough that I’m here till midnight, they gotta suck away my only real break time! This is the kind of boring, annoying shit that would push me towards the bandit to pass the time. Fortunately they’re still locked up from the night before, but I could easily open them should I see fit…
I guess it just annoys me how I’d got my days perfectly planned out, now somebody’s dropped this on my lap and it’s just irritating as shit! They’re still not here. Why would they be? Gonna stop ranting now… Got a lot of waiting about to do!

[Adam26]

Just checking in. Not feeling great today.

[Adam26]

Seeing people lose definitely helps. Seeing people walk over and put a tenner in and win a few hundred sometimes makes me a bit twitchy. It gives you that, that could of been me idea. But then I guess I could of been the guy before the winner who had to be the loser. It’s all mental and I just need to stay rational.
It’s Sunday today. I’ve been in since half 10. I usually go home at 1 but since I’m in charge this weeken I’m here till 6. Sweet Jesus it’s boring! The weather doesn’t help, but I’ve had two people in for the last hour. There’s only so much you can look at on eBay to pass the time. Never know why I look on eBay so much when I’m trying to save… But I always do…

[Adam26]

Saturday, Saturday, Saaaaaaturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saaaaaturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday Nights Alright!
Anyway, enough of Elton. It’s Saturday again. Boss is off this weekend so I’m large and in charge. Extra time to be alone with those dastardly bandits! I keep thinking, if I just play that 20p bandit, I know I’ll drop it. Worst case scenario, I only win a little bit. 20-30 quid. Best case, 200-220 quid. But that’s not the point. It’s what it leads to that’s the problem. So for now, I’ll leave it alone. Working on a deal to sell some items for £550. Another missive step back towards where I want to be. Or should I say a massive step forwards…

[Adam26]

Yea I know. I could hear people playing the 20p bandit last night. The coins going straight through the hop and into the box below. Shouting out to anyone with a trained ear “PLAY ME I’M READY TO DROP”. Didn’t bother me too much though. Possibly because I know it would take hours and probably about 200 quid to drop the £250. It’s just not worth the effort sometimes. That being said, it’s not worth ruining the decent run of days I’m on. I’ll be on 100 days in no time. Then who knows. I might actually accomplish something I’ve never done since wasting my first pound… Go a whole year!
Can it be done? We shall see…

[Adam26]

Last day of the snooker season today. I hate snooker season because it means I have to work the games room bar. I’m here to work, not sit and watch people slap balls about with big sticks. I usually end up coming upstairs to help out the boss on the main bar. Trouble is, even though I’ll sit there doing nothing for twenty minutes, Sod’s law states that ‘as soon as you leave a bar unmanned for more than 12 seconds, someone will want a drink’. So I just end up getting abuse… That being said, I’m glad it’s all over tonight. For now…

[Adam26]

I’ve thought about leaving my job, sure. But I didn’t do very well in school, partly down to terrible short term memory and mostly down to laziness. My mate got me a job glass collecting after I left school. It was supposed to be while I found a full time job but after I handed in my notice at 18, they asked if I wanted hours on the bar. So I stayed and worked every hour I could get on the bar. At 21 I handed my notice in again only to be asked to stay a bit longer as a favour because they were short staffed. At 22 I became the youngest under steward they’d had… I guess I’ve just kinda settled into the place. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never made a CV, never had a proper job interview. They’ve just kinda looked after me here so I feel like I owe it to the place to stay on. I’m constantly told I’m the only useful member of staff so it could only get worse if I left…
Anyway, the guy I’ve mentioned a lot on here had a good night last night. He won the £500 jackpot, went back on and won another £250. Usually this would fill me with so much hate for the person that’s just taken “MY” money! But I guess I was kinda happy for him after a couple of bad weeks. Although as we know, it’s only a loan… and I’m sure he’ll pay his “loan” back into the bandits soon enough.
As for me, I’ll use the £10 tip he gave me to guy a kebab and celebrate 6 weeks!

[Adam26]

It’s hard at times sure. Every time, EVERY time I lock up the bandits at night I subconciously touch my back pocket to see if there’s any money in there. I just need to make sure I turn them off quickly before my mind starts ticking. I’ve stood in front of them before with a note in my hand just running over the odds in my head. Before I know it I’ve been stood there 10 minutes. I used to play a silly game with myself. Because the machines note intake is a bit dodgy, it often spits notes back out. I used to challenge myself, if it spits the note back out, that’s the universes way of telling me not to play. But the sad thing is, I’d find myself going best out of three with a bloody machine. I remember doing it a lot. I don’t remember ever taking the universes advice…

[Adam26]

I’m not really sure what it is that’s stopping me gambling mentally. I still get the odd feeling at work to just try a few quid. It’s possibly because my gambling was so focused on one thing and that was the video bandits. Once I blocked my computer ones, all I need to do is steer clear at work. I also think theres part of me that’s thinking, “enjoy this while you can, you know your gonna be back on them eventually”. Therefor I don’t think I’m in any position to give out advice. I wish you luck though. I know its not something you can turn on and off so I hope you can find something that helps keep your mind busy.
Also, I know it’s only a small thing, but coming on here every day JUST to add a number to my days helps. Those days amounting up makes me feel like I’m winning.

[Author]

Posts