[AAA]

Hi. I found out from a third party about 4months ago. Luckily my husband only ruined his credit but he did gamble away over a year’s wages over a period of 18months. I know how hurt and angry you are, I still am although the feelings have dulled some. It’s so crazy hard. We’ve been together 20yrs.

I believe he has quit  he seems relieved he was caught   He has been trying to make it up to me on some level  but I still feel distant -undecided- hurt- etc. He has done everything I’ve asked or I think I would have ended it  He is scared I will   

Best I can do is recommend you take care of YOURSELF, focus on yourself. Hopefully you can find yourselves each a gambling counsellor. I just finished a book “Behind the Eight Ball” recommendable for families of gamblers. I ordered it on line; found it helpful. Wishing you all the best….

[AAA]

He’s been gamble free for 3 mths. Says he has no urges, doesn’t miss it. He has no interest in telling his counselors or anyone else but me about his childhood abuse. He talks like it’s over now and just wants to get on with life.
I feel so uncertain about our future. I’m so uncomfortable when he says we’ll do ‘xyz’ To the house or he wants to plan to do this or that in the early future. I just want to scream at him. With what money??? Cause he doesn’t have any anymore. Or that would have been nice if you hadn’t blown all that $. He can’t even afford to join my daughter n I to the zoo. He’s moody too. But doesn’t talk about things.
How do I go about giving him a chance/time to get himself straightened out without being angry or resentful???

[AAA]

He’s been so good. Too good to be true…or trusted :(. I’m almost feeling like I’m the one keeping secrets now because while I’m enjoying his attention/affection and all his help around the house that I’ve always wanted, I also feel like I have one foot out the door, just waiting for my $ protection to be in place and the next time he screws up.
It’s just so out of character for him. He has more drive then even when we first met 17years ago. He jokes that he feels like he’s 20 again. He’s starting projects around the house he’s promised to do years ago. He’s ALWAYS home. He even tags along to go grocery shopping. No hesitation even if I say my sister or girlfriend wants to get together he offers to stay with our daughter. She’s 5. I’ve “gone out” more in the last 3 months than the last 5 years. This is all great. But I’m soooooo suspicious.
He goes to his gambling counseling. Doesn’t say much about it. I also know his buddy invited him out to play poker this week because I’ve started snooping through his text messages!! He replied that he won’t be gambling again for a long time, if ever. I liked reading that.
One day at a time…. who knows.

[AAA]

Thank you Velvet for your positivity. Yes, both our counselors are specific to gambling. I really yo-yo a lot from being hopeful to doubtful, which I know is to be expected. How can I ever trust him again? How do I know his efforts will last? I tell myself- one day at a time— enjoy his efforts while they last—-but I can’t for two minutes trust it will last. I feel like I’m just waiting for him to mess up. I’d love to read some stories with happy endings. How will I ever believe in him without feeling like a fool? Maybe we just need more time…

[Author]

Posts