[Duccix]

It was only two weeks ago that I decided to try online gambling.

At first I decided to to put in $50, telling myself if I lost it that would be it for awhile.

When I lwas up $300 and lost it all my problem started.

I decided to dip into our house savings. Putting  in $1k I was up to $3k.

I told myself if I dropped back down to $1k I would stop.

When I lose all but $400 I felt sick to my stomach…

I went home and berated myself for losing the money…telling myself  it would never happen agian.

The next day I loaded another $1k in and went on “the run” 

For about a week and a half I went back and forth on my winnings..never dropping down to my initial deposit.

Tuesday this week I was up $8k..i was playing fast and lose ..$200…$400…$600+ bets. I would make and lose thousands in moments. 

Then it happened..a string of bad hands of blackjack completely wiped away my winning. 

I was deflated and depressed…I had just lost $9k…

So what did do? I loaded in me and my wife’s entire house upgrade savings…$6k…if I could turn $1k into $8k..what could I do with $6k?

Well I wasn’t wrong at first..within an hour or so I was up $13k.

Me and my wife were ecstatic ..talking about all the things we were going to do with the money..how it was going to make the house upgrades so much easier to afford.

Wed I played a little more vowing to myself if I dropped below $10k I would call it quits and withdraw. 

30 minutes later I was up another $3k…I was floating on cloud nine! 

How easy was this!

I decided to play again on my lunch hour..within 30 minutes I had lost everything.

The back luck streak was unimanigble..bet after bet was a loss…i kept on doubling the bet hoping..praying the nexthand would be a winner and bring back my winnings.

The streak never came…I had lost it all…I had lost $16k of winnings along with $6k of our savings.

The past few days have been a haze..I am so depressed right now.

Both me and my wife make decent money..we can bounce back easily..but we are now in a position we havent been in years..figuring out how to pay our bills..making sure we have enough money for upcoming expenses.

We are currently building a house..and we are hoping to have enough money to afford the appliances, lighting, and other costs that we had already saved for.

Sorry for this long write up..

The only person who know right now is my wife..who “though rightfully is angry” is sticking by me and being supportive of my mistake.

[i-did-it]

Hi Duccix , I’m so sorry to read you lost all your savings . Unfortunately once we cross over into addictive gambling even once – it is almost impossible to ever finally to normal gambling .

I admire you for coming on here and seeking help so quickly – if you can draw a line in the sand, walk away, forget about the lost money and live a gamble free life you will never look back.

Unfortunately most of us who do chase our losses have found that not being able to pay our bills has become a way of life- a horrible, depressing life .

You have the support of your wife and you have said that you can get over this loss financially –

Please close your accounts , and ban your self . Sign up to Gamstop or get a gambling blocker for your internet devices – and maybe for now – give your wife full control over all monies and cards.

I hope this helps – this could just be a huge mistake you have made or the start of years of misery – the choice is yours .

Onwards and upwards .

[Duccix]

Thanks for the reply.

One thing that is keeping me from canceling my account is a cashback offer from the Casino next week.

The Casino is offering $2,000 cashback after I wager $2,000 in bets next week.

So if I wager $2000..regardless of its winnings or my own money once I hit $2,000 the casino gives me $2,000.

My plan was to set up a slot for $2.00 bets and run it 1000 times.

So at minimim I would break even with money..most likely I would get some money back.

Is it bad for me to do this?

I plan on canceling my account after the cash back.

[i-did-it]

Cash back offers are usually bonuses which have to be replayed several times (maybe up to 40 to win anything ) ! How do I know ? Because I feel for that one too often ! Cancel ur card so u cannnot deposit !

[vera]

Do you really think casinos were set up to give cash to clients? Don’t be fooled, like the many here who were . Mark my words, you will rue the day! Compulsive Gamblers N E V E R win. Walk away from your loss or it will all end in tears.

[finding_laura]

chasing our losses is a losing game! If you manage to win and take out some money you will put it all back. The mind game will have started where you convince yourself that because you won once you will win again. And when you eventually lose, which is more often the case, you will begin to throw more good money after bad. chasing the losses once again. It is scary how fast the line will move as you tally your losses. And what you become immune to as the losses wrack up. Look at this as a very expensive lesson. You have found out that you are a compulsive gambler. Someone who finds it hard to have any control for very long. It can be so hard to realize you lost your house savings but many here have lost a house. Know that this compulsion will only get worse if you keep feeding it. I hope you realize this before you are far down the road. Take care, Laura

[Nicoleb86]

You may feel bad now, but you are only at the beginning and can stop. Do not use that $2000. What you are describing is the “start” of gambling addiction.

[velvet]

Hello Duccix and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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