[whyohwhy]

It’s a long long time since I was here. I had a different user name. I had a different job. I now have a different wife and with that a different family. I lost the first family through gambling. I am now headed towards repeating all of my previous failings.In fact, there is only one constant… that I gamble. Why oh why do I do it?
I am only really back here tonight because I have had a really bad losing day. If I’d won today I’d be thinking gambling was the best! Today, firstly I lost all the cash I own. And then tonight I emptied my partners online paypal account. I worked out the password and proceeded to go on full scale tilt losing every penny in there. My new wife (we married in October) knows all about my 20+ year addiction and has put many things in place to stop me. I always have a way of wriggling free though. I convince her to give me back my cash card. I get passwords. I lie about where my money has come from or gone to. Why oh why do I do it though?
Why oh why? I don’t even know. I don’t earn enough to have spare cash to do it. I am a classic gambler. A chaser. A dreamer. An optimist. Anything will do too. The proverbial flies up the wall would do. I stake in ridiculous ways too. 20p accumulators or £100 on a spin of an online rigged up roulette wheel.
Why oh why am I sat here now thinking that if I pick 6 horses tomorrow… or pick a 10 match football acca off a sections list for maximum returns? I’m just trying to get back the money I lost today. If I hadn’t done it there would be no need to chase. Why oh why do I chase?
In fact, why oh why is my love filled wife, beautiful children, nice home, good job and loving parents not enough to keep me away from it?
Why oh Why?
 

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