[Amylaaa]

Hi,

I’ve never openly written or talked about my problem but I feel it’s time to make a step. 

My background with gambling isint too long. It started maybe 3 years ago. My mother was a gambling addict and she used to gamble a casino I lived next to so I often went to visit her while she was there. 

She’d get me to play a machine for her so she could have two on the go. That’s how it started and for the past year it’s really become a problem for me. I Gamble online and blackjack is what I go to.

Work is unpredictable for me so I never know how much money is coming month to month and when I feel like I have ”a lot’ of money that’s when I lose it all. 

I’ve lost probably 5-8 thousand over the past 3 years but Luckily at present I’m not in debt and I have enough left to pay what I need and even a very small amount of savings so I know this is when I need to stop. 

I have a long history of mental ill health and I’ve recently had intensive therapy to battle everything but the gambling was not seen as my biggest problem so I have left therapy with minimal coping skills on how to combat the urges, and as so many of you know gambling is really affecting my mental health.

I usually watch videos of gambling addicts speak on YouTube and even watch people playing blackjack so I can see how volatile the whole thing is and it distracts me long enough for the urge to pass. These tricks didn’t work for me this week and I’ve lost over half my wage. 

Can someone please tell what they do in those moments of weakness that really help combat the urge. 

Thank you.

[Monica1]

Welcome to the forum. Well done for coming for support. When I get urges I read the stories of fellow members and people who I have met in GA who all have hit their rock bottoms with gambling. That can mean anything from bankruptcy, losing everything, as I did, to prison or insanity. Gambling affects our mental health and will make any pre existing mental health condition worse. Anxiety, ocd, depression all can be side effects of gambling and again manifest in early recovery. Others distract by doing something else, anything, even the washing up. Keep looking for support as we genuinely cannot do the recovery journey alone.
Firstly go to the groups on here for new members facilitated by Charles. Get gsmbling specific counselling support either through Gamcare or GA. I personally have found this forum and the groups the most helpful. There is a Gordon Moody women’s programme that I have been on that helps a lot if you r in the U.K.
Try not to blame your mum. She didn’t ask for this addiction any more than u did but are you able to speak to her that you have also the same addiction and cannot be drawn into any gsmbling related activity? When we admit we are powerless over gambling and our lives have become unmanageable then that is the start of wanting to go on the healing recovery journey.

[kin]

Hi Amy,

My mum is also a gambling addict, she is 88 years old now and still very active gambling on Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday, her drug of choice is lottery number. Other days she was studying what numbers to buy and it kept her occupied. Mum has been gambling for so many decades and still strongly believe that she did not lose any money, she only remember her big winning and cannot remember all the money she had lost.

In the past, I feel sad, here I am trying to quit gambling, there she is gambling. Worst of all happens when she acted out on me, that was when she tried to control my life like a director saying certain things to manipulate me to do what she wants, this hurt the most.

We, problem gambler, know how and what this is like, we have done this so many times to people who love and trusted us.

Today, I learn to deal with the emotions, I learn to deal with the hurtful feeling; “learn to accept and live with it, not numb it.”

My mum is 88 years old now, her mind is not clear anymore, I do not take what she says too personal now, but her words still hurt the same sometime.

Today, I learn to be more responsible for my action and considerate to others, I do not blame her for my behavior anymore, and I do not try to control or force her to change but I try to change myself.

Stop the gambling, you will not lose your hard-earned income as a result.

Stop the gambling, all your hard earned, saving will not become smaller.

It is hard for a normal person to deal with gambling addiction, it is even harder for someone with a mental health issues to deal with the same thing, but it is not impossible.

Imagine all the struggle with feelings of fear, worries, sadness, disappointment, frustration, anger, pressures, stress, anxiety, panic, loneliness, tiredness, boredom, all the pain and suffering, it felt so real and so desperate…and the temptation that you can escape from them, forget everything and feel good for a few hours sounds too good to be true, isn’t it?

These feelings are not a good excuse to gamble. We can learn to deal with these problems in a more proper and healthy manner without gambling and hurting ourselves.   

Gambling did not help improve the situation, many times it made matter worst than it was before. Gambling comes to rob, steal and destroy.

There is hope! Recovery is the healing or process of becoming better emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially.

I need a Higher Power to help me heal and recover, I need God and recovery friends, I need a mentor, sponsor, or teacher to carry the message to me, I need the bible and the 12 steps recovery program to be my compass and show me the way, I attend recovery support group meetings such as GA, OA, AA, NA, I learn to do things all over , replace the gambling with writting journal, movies, exercise, music, gathering with friends etc.

I was disappointed and frustrated after I pray to God to help me to stop gambling, not realizing that God is good all the times and has given me everything that I need to help me to stop gambling. These things can help me to do what I cannot do on my own.

There is a lot of support you can get here online, it can complement the ones you get in real life. Build up your support network and safety net so that they are always there for you when you need one.

[velvet]

Hello Amylaaa and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[i-did-it]

Hi Amylaa
Well done on seeking help – it is great that you are doing so before debts build up .
My mum also is a gambling addict and introduced me to gambling in a similar way to yours . I loved going to the casino since I was about 13. In fact looking back, the only thing we did as a family was play cards for money- small amounts but we rarely played for just fun.

I guess for us we are trying to change a pattern that has been more or less lifelong – a learned behaviour that is part of our upbringing . It is hard to stop and to be honest the only thing that helps me stay stopped is strong barriers .
When those moments of weakness come I simply cannot gamble .

Things which help are having gambling blockers on your internet devices , cutting up bank cards , having someone else manage your finances , joining Gamstop .
You will get more ideas from others on here .

The important thing is that you have taken the first step and that you can stop. Just think , in the future you will have all those thousands to spend on you !

[Author]

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