[doggedwon]

Hi everyone,  I just registered for this site.  I’m hoping (still) to find a way to stop (forever) that will work for me.

I’ve been a gambler all my life.  Played penny poker as a young child and made my first trip to Las Vegas when I was 17 years old.  I’m 52 now.

My gambling addiction has ruined my life so many times.  But it’s been during the last half a dozen years that a hopelessness has overtaken my every thought.

I think a lot about ending it all.  I wish I didn’t have any more responsibilities because I’m tired.  I’m tired of fighting and losing the battle.  I will never have a good life because

I’m addicting to gambling.  It’s completely illogical and I can’t find a way to permanently stop.  So here I am, looking for help.

Can anyone suggest coping strategies for when that urge takes over and no logical thought can stop that next bet?

[velvet]

Hello Doggedwon and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[finding_laura]

Hey Dogged,

From your story you have been battling this a long time. I’m sure you’ve been told and maybe tried not having access to your money? I find barriers such as being banned from casinos or bookies, having a gambling blocker on your devices or not having access to funds lessen the urges from coming in the first place. Once urges have started and you have access to gambling it can be a hard battle.

Here is an article I came across for preventing them: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/the-10-most-successful-ways-of-overcoming-gambling-urges

Staying connected with others dealing with this can help you find a path forward.

take care,
Laura

[doggedwon]

Hi Jappy, thank you for your reply.

I no longer carry cash or credit cards but I do keep my bank card with me.  I’m afraid of being out and about without any access to money in case of an emergency.  Although, that may just be another excuse I’m using because when I hit the casino I sure don’t hesitate from cleaning out my bank account even if that leaves me broke until the next paycheck.

I’m not familiar with browser blockers or mobile app blockers.  I’d definitely be interested in installing those.  Like you said, the more barriers in the way of me getting to that bet the better.

[doggedwon]

Hi Laura,  thanks so much for that article link.  As long as I’ve been fighting this I still found a few suggestions on it I haven’t tried yet.

I’m also still looking through and reading many things on this website.  I know there’s no magic cure.  But I keep hoping that a combination of things will eventually make that difference I need.

I’ve quit for short periods in the past.  But it’s always been for either a big life goal I was shooting for at the time or because I simply got so angry at being broke no matter how hard I worked that I quit for a while.  Unfortunately, I always let myself get dragged back in. 🙁

[kathryn]

Laura and Jappy have given you some great advice.
Perhaps carrying a very small amount of cash in case of emergency would be better than your card, or open a new account with a little bit in it, one that’s not linked so you cant access your money.
I know, for me, if I didn’t have a ‘decent’ amount of money I wouldn’t bother gambling, it wasn’t worth my time. In saying that, come pay day I was jumping out of my skin!
Getting those barriers up can really help. Sure, if you really want to gamble you will find a way, but make it as difficult for yourself as possible. Try and fill your days, gambling takes us away from friends and family, re-connect and hopefully you will be so busy you will wonder where you ever found the time to gamble in the first place.
Look forward to hearing more from you.
Love K xxxx

[sfumato]

I want to share this – because it has been a Miracle for me. I can’t tell you how badly gambling (slots) have destroyed and consumed my life for about 15 years. There was NEVER any winning, because it would all go back in as fast as I can shove it. I won 5k one night, stuck it all back in and then another 3500 in cash advances, draining checking, cashing checks…this was the norm…always. I would stand in line at the atm, almost shaking to get up there, like a junkie.  I worked a lot and made good money, but couldn’t even put together enough to get a $2.00 car wash. Wrecked my car a couple times, driving home so tired I couldn’t see straight…and on and on it went. At one point in my life I was in a very toxic relationship with a man I had no future with – and it was very bad for me mentally and physically…I started talking to a psychologist about why I stayed and could not leave – almost like I was addicted to him. After a while, we figured out why I was doing it (I had my mother abandon me at age 7) and I had pushed this man away time after time and he stayed…leading to my stuck state of toxicity. Once I wrapped my head around why I was doing what I was doing, a switch was flipped and I left.  The gambling was going to kill me, I too froze a credit card, set limits on debit card, but it was still there – the desire to go, just waiting to fall off the wagon. It still had my mind, that sick sick feeling of consumption. Last thing I could think of, I went to see a psychologist, a pretty good one about 4 months ago. I told her I had to figure out why I kept ruining my llife with the gambling. I thought – like before if I knew why I was doing it, I could stop. One night coming home from a night out during white knuckled cold turkeying…I had a thought and I spoke it into the notes of my phone. – It was that I was thinking about gambling, at the moment I did not want to do it, but I was not sure if I would be alright with not feeling that sickening gut twisting disappointment in myself that I would feel after losing everything – as I did everytime I played. She said that it made sense because my childhood was very volatile with severe ups and downs and a repetitive (similar) sickening feeling I would get when my bipolar parent would become abusive and terrible. She said that was my way of life, and although miserable, familiar. After this revelation I can say, no joke I 100% have had 0 desire to gamble since. I had a dream I was at my favorite casino about 2 weeks ago, and I felt sick and walked out…this was once the only place i ever wanted to be…It is a true miracle. Maybe if you think about how you truly feel about your gambling, you too can look to your past and find out why you are stuck. I know the slots are fun and exciting and hypnotic and and and…but if you have it bad, and it sounds like you do, there is more to it than that. My apologies this is so long, but if it can help you – and I hope it can, may have been worth the read. – All the best to you friend.

[doggedwon]

Great suggestion.  I now remember trying this in the past.  I’m going to do it again.  Of course right this minute it doesn’t matter as there’s no money in the account anyways.  But moving forward, I’m going to start doing that again.  Keeping non-bill money in an online account that takes 2-5 days to withdraw from.

Like you also said, there’s no sure fire barrier, but the more in the way the better chance we have of getting past the urge and moving on.

I also need new hobbies.  🙂

[doggedwon]

Sfumato, thank you so much for sharing your story.  It’s very moving.  And so true that things in our past control our present in unforseen ways.

It’s eye-opening to hear/read other accounts of gambling and shockingly see how common many of those feelings are among those of us addicted.

[doggedwon]

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to post this in a different discussion thread…

I spent some time yesterday afternoon searching online for an app to stop apps. :-/ Basically, I need to find a way to restrict in-app purchases on my mobile. Even those dumb little casino games that don’t play for real money can take a lot of it out of my pocket. *sheesh* The logical me looks at the gambling me and can’t believe the stupidity.

I found app blockers for parents and app blockers for gambling. But nothing to restrict in-app purchases.

Initially I liked the gambling game apps because I thought they kept me out of the casino for longer periods of time. But it didn’t take long for me to start spending ridiculous amounts game credits. I think I’d rather go to the casino than throw it away on these games. 🙁

Anyone know of anything I could use? Another barrier…

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