[maverick.]

Just for today my name is Maverick, I am a compulsive gambler and will always be one. I have been meaning to start a journal for a while now so here it is. I am 35 years old and had been gambling since I was around 14 all be it not that heavy in the early days. By the time I was 19 I had a very good job and my own place, I was dating a very nice young lady (who is now my wife) and in all honesty life was pretty good but……….. I also gambled, it was my hobby and it was what I enjoyed doing. Like many of us I am sure my gambling started to get out of control and my stakes were getting bigger and bigger by the day the small bets I started of with just didn’t do it for me anymore, In the end the stakes just got silly and when I was gambling money didn’t have a valve to me (it did) but when gambling I just didn’t care, I had lost control of my gambling (did I ever have control) who knows. I was deep in debt because of my gambling and I decided to sell my flat and with the money I had made on my property I could pay off all my debts so that is what I did, I was given a lifeline and thank God for that, I was free from all the debt my gambling had caused me. I moved down south with my girlfriend (now my wife) totally debt free and ready for a fresh start, change of area, change on scenery, we both got good jobs and rented a property, life was good in fairness it was very good, I was debt free had the women of my dreams in my life what more could I ask for, the only problem was I kept on gambling and this went on for many years along with excessive drinking, over the space of the 7 years I lived down there I got myself into tens of thousands of pounds of debt because of my gambling, being honest I had a great paying job but like I am sure you all well know it doesn’t matter how much we have (and it is all relative) I would always gamble until I had nothing left. I decided to sort out all my debt (in truth I didn’t have a choice) as debt collector letters and the knocking of doors and the rest, I agreed (via a CCJ) to pay a fixed amount every month pretty much for the rest of my life but if I didn’t gamble then this amount would be manageable and I could live with it , I set it all up and then decided to move back to where I used to live with my wife and first child (in the 7 years I was down south I got married and we had our first child) in between my gambling. So I am 31 and back living where I used to, great wife, great kid, ok job and renting again (could never get back on the property ladder) being good paying what I owe. The problem this time is yet again I was still gambling and I just couldn’t stop, this time I was struggling to get my hands on money, no credit, no cards, no overdraft (all because of my previous gambling) so started to do silly illegal things to finance my gambling addiction things I would never dream of doing now or if I hadn’t become a compulsive gambler. I am going to fast forward the last 4 years of my life as just for today I don’t want to share but I gambled a lot. I had another child in between and still live in the same area (different place) and different job. Gambling is such a very strong addiction that I could not describe to anyone (only my opinion as always) I am so very lucky as I still have my wonderful wife and my two great children and I will always be so very grateful for that and that is down to certain people who started helping me in my recovery (people I will talk about at a later time). I have been using this site for about 6 months now but been in recovery for longer and the main thing I see is the amount of support and hope people give to others and for me that is so good to see because in truth we all need hope, so thanks to each and everyone of you who contributes to this great site, thank you for taking the time to read my post and thank you for taking the time to post and reply to people on here as I know those efforts help so very many (me included). Thank you for listening to my share and I have to say I left a lot out but I couldn’t carry on as I am cooking dinner on behalf of my two kids for there mum for mothers day. I wish you all the very best in your recovery and life, take care and always remember “people make places” Love Maverick.

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