[Hunter]

I’ve had a compulsive gambling problem for the past 2 years. I am well aware of it and I know it’s a serious problem yet I keep gambling (casino or scratch’s off) 3 sometimes 7 days a week. I desperately want to stop and I need help. I’m in sales, I’m a top earner in the company but I am living paycheck to paycheck and barely getting by. I only pay bills when I am forced to (ie if shut off notice comes in mail) and I have overdrafted all of my checking accounts and I cannot even open a new normal checking account!

My paycheck from 3 days ago was $6200 and the only bill I paid was for preschool/Nanny for my 4 year old ($700). I’ve been to the casino everyday and the only thing I have left is a $5 scratch off sitting in the car.

(Also, my significant other knows I have a problem, he asked me today if I’ve been to the casino and I lied and said no)

I do not want to live like this anymore. I do not even have gas money to make it back and fourth to work everyday unitl next paycheck in 2 weeks. We are flat broke for the next 2 weeks. I’m sure I could find someone to borrow money from but a. I’ve read that only delays recovery and b. I’m just too embarrassed to ask anyone for money.

So now what?

[kathryn]

I’m just about to head to bed but saw your post and wanted to let you know that you’re not alone.
There are some things you can do today to start the road to recovery.
So you said your husband knows…..use that! Ask him to take over the finances , give yourself a small allowance every day for coffee etc, hand over your cards, give yourself no access to money. No money = no gambling.
Exclude from the casinos in your area. I found self exclusion to be a huge barrier for me.
Contact GA. There should be a meeting in your area. You may get some extra much needed support.
Read and post here. This forum is brilliant, you just need to use it. The helpline is amazing, it’s closed on the weekends but there are some wonderful people there who can help you.
Now is the time Hunter, while you are feeling low to put things in place to keep you safe for when the gambling hangover has gone.
You can have a life free from gambling.
You can be present for your family.
You can feel ‘normal’ again, not continually worrying about how you are going to pay the bills.
You can be happy again.
I know it’s overwhelming, not to mention scary. But you’ve got this!!!
I look forward to hearing more from you,
Love K xxx

[finding_laura]

Hi Hunter and welcome to the forum.

The damage we do to ourselves with gambling is horrendous. Kathryn has given you some great advice. I would definitely give over finances to someone else. We can’t trust ourselves when we get this bad. Not at first for sure! Or do the finances together and keep receipts for everything. Accountability helped me a lot. It’s crazy what we will do to ourselves all for the price of admission into the gambling hell. I hope you do find it in yourself to make a change. Reaching out is often the first step. Take care,
Laura

[charles]

Hi Hunter and welcome. Well done on looking for help. You can stop gambling I promise you; read the other stories here and you will see the sort of things that have helped others stop gambling.

As other have siad – accountability helps, your partner alreaday knowsa bout the problem so I am sure he would be delighted to help with that. We all know that when we lose our money we can’t gamble – no money = no gambling, use that knowledge now. I would alos get yourself banned from that casino. Go and ask security to exclude you – again going with your partner would help, he will see how serious you are about stopping. If you do go to exclude on your own then go with no money or credit cars on you – no danger of a “final fling” then.

The most important thing though is to use support. If we could do it on our own then we wouldn’t be in trouble in the first place. If there is a casino near you then it is very likely there is also a Gamblers Anonymous meeting in your area, go and check it out and see the support there. You also have this Forum and the Groups and Helpline here.

Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that you are taking.

[Monkey15]

Welcome aboard! The fact you have gambled for two years and seeking help now is a good sign. It took me 18 years and believe me a lot harder to combat. The fact you have recognised that there is a problem now gives hope that you can and will get on top of this evil gambling addiction now. There is no time like now to start dealing with this and as others have mentioned, put a safety net in place while you are feeling the way you are now. This will make it harder for you to resume gambling when you have a moment of wanting to gamble again. We all know how hard it is to combat this evil nasty affliction, but it can be done. Stay strong and keep writing on here, it does help.

Take care

Tina

[alliesmum]

Hi Hunter
Welcome to the forum. I am also new here but the advice, support and warmth of the other people on here is second to none.
Take on board their great advice and put some barriers in place.
In the last few days I have excluded myself from all the online sites I was using. I have also downloaded k9 browser and got rid of all my other browsers so that I can’t be tempted to gamble as it is now blocked. As well as this I have also handed over all the financial responsibility to my husband so he now handles all the household bills etc.

Your partner already knows of your addiction so just be honest. It’s hard to do but it’s worth it once you get it all off your chest and have someone to lean on and to listen.

I also have a young family so I know how the guilt of what you have done or spent can eat you up but try not to dwell on it (easier said than done I know) but try to focus on the future. A gambling free future for you and for your family.

If you ever need a chat please feel free to drop by my story.

I hope today has been a gamble free day for you.

Lots of love xxx

[Hunter]

Wow thank you for the support. Your encouraging words and confident statements really did make me feel a little better.

Since my original post a few days ago, I’ve made a few steps in the right direction. I ended up telling my husband about blowing my most recent paycheck and being flat broke. I explained my addiction was truly probably 10x worse than I’ve admitted in the past. I was so scared to tell him but I was SHOCKED when he reacted when nothing but support and love and saying we’d get through it all together, as a team. I think he is honestly just happy that I am being 100% honest now. We sat down and figured out a budget and decided that all of my paychecks will be deposited into his account Account for now. I will still be responsible for actually paying the bills but I do all of that online and he will monitor to make sure every bill is paid. I’ve never been into the online gambling thing so I thankfully have no worries there.

However, I did feel extremely sad and guilty on Monday because i ended up having to return a few Christmas presents that I bought for my son. I needed gas money to get to work. But at least I didn’t use the cash to gamble in hopes of making a little extra before next paycheck. I feel so ashamed that I am fortunate to be a top earner in my company yet I’m returning a 4 year olds toys to get myself to work.

That’s all for now but thank you again for the support!

[Hunter]

thank you, Laura. You’re right, I definitely cannot trust myself. The only problem with keeping receipts is that I only keep them to know I Can return them if I have to. Like I told Kathryn, I had to return my child’s Christmas presents this week to get to work! That was an all time low. Thankfully he hasn’t noticed. Either way, thank you for the support and recognizing that reaching out, was my first step I guess. So thank you!

[Hunter]

Thank you, Tina. That’s amazing that you were able to bounce back after 18 years! I couldn’t imagine living like this for that long…you are one incredibly strong woman!

[Hunter]

Thank you for the support ! Was exactly does “excluding”mean? I’ve read that in PA, all it does is prevent you from being able to collect on a jackpot if you win but they still let you in the casino. I honestly never want to go near that place again but if you really think it’s imprtant to do it and they would actually ban me, I shouldn’t probably do it youre right … I wish scratch off tickets had a system that could ban me too!

[Hunter]

Thank you for the support! Yes the guilt regarding my young child is a HORRIBLE feeling! Good for you for taking all of those measures. I haven’t gambled since my post. The real test is when I get paid again. My husband and I did a budget together for my next pay check. After all the bills are paid there will still quite a bit of money left. He mentioned all the things we should do with it like start paying off credit card debt from YEARS ago (my credit is horrible), double the car payment, pay off student loans etc….but thinking about all of that and figuring out who I owe what and how much is just too stressful for me right now but I’m hoping I’ll be able to sort it all out sooner than later. Part of me just wants to spend it on me…I haven’t bought myself anything nice in the past 2 years because every extra dime I’ve had went to the casino. Is that selfish! I don’t know ! Saving money probably be the best idea but I’m honestly scared that if we build up a lump Sum of money, I will eventually just gamble it all a way somehow or some way. Either way, I’m trying to stay positive and proud of myself for being on here and taking in all the love and support .

[alliesmum]

Hi Hunter
Have you thought about maybe getting your wages paid into your hubbys bank account? Then you don’t have the money to gamble and then he could pay the bills etc. That’s what I have done and to be honest now that I don’t have the means to gamble I am less likely to.
I don’t know where in the world you are but in the seaside town I live in we don’t have a casino (just a bookmakers) so I know I won’t be able to gamble.

Have you thought about self excluding from the casino?

I know where you are coming from with regards to treating yourself. I would say its been at least 2 years since I treated myself too but have told hubby that if I get to a month with no gambling that I might take myself shopping with my sister for our holiday in March.

Maybe a rewards system would work for you?

You should be proud of yourself for seeking help. Its the hardest thing for a CG to do.

Hope today was a gamble free day for you.

Lots of love xxx

[Hunter]

Yes I changed it so it would all (rather than just some) go into his account. But Ive always handled his account as well. I know how to get into even if he changed the passwords and what not ….. I’ve done it for gambling before 🙁

I’ve just always been responsible for making and managing the money. He takes care of the housework, our child, dinner, etc. I suppose maybe I am just not ready to give up that type of control. But I think having our of all money deposited into his account not mine is a good start! I wrote down every bill that is due and how much so he will be checking his account to make sure it’s done and hold me accountable.

A reward system is a great idea. I think I’ll reward myself a little after a full month of no gambling. Thank you!

[alliesmum]

I have also decided to reward myself after a month. There is a pair of shoes I’ve been wanting for ages so I decided after a month I will buy them for myself then that way I have ‘earned’ them.
I would spend a hell of a lot more on gambling in a month so I may be treating myself but I am also saving.

What if he cancelled his card and got a new one and hid it from you for a while would that help?

Maybe him knowing everything and checking his account to make sure all bills etc are paid will be enough to keep you from going to the casino. I hope it is.

Do you know what your triggers are? What makes you gamble? Maybe you could avoid those situations or replace them with something more productive.

Keep posting and I will try to help.

Lots of love xxx

[charles]

Ok, so this is where you can use your knowledge of past behaviours to build those barriers higher. You know how to access his account? How? Don’t say here but talk to him about those past actions and block whichever loophole you used before.

Keep posting.

[Author]

Posts