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We all know about our own roller-coaster of life. Just thought I would check in after several years of popping in and out of here.
Think I came in about 5 years ago in a desperate state. Broke and broken. Things have got a lot better though I still am prone to lapses. However, I pick myself back up and stay off for months. This is much better than when I had no control over betting and poker playing. I loved the excitement of it all. It’s love-hate stuff. When ‘playing’ I’d slip off almost into another reality. Another version of myself. I win, then I lose. It always ends with loss. Then I’m a Marxist for a while. I see the problems of the ‘free’ market and what Capitalism does to alienate us from our true selves and those we love. Then a little while later I become a free market liberal, neo-con again and play it all up. Amazing really. Overall, I’m more functional now, doing much better in life. I’m going somewhere now, with a purpose and a plan. The barriers and blockers have helped. I’ll aim to make the best choices I can tomorrow and be as good as possible. That’s do-able.
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