[Labrat15]

Hi,
I’ve been gambling online for a few years now. At first it was just football matches then I started online slots, and now, at the age of 22 I’ve managed to get myself is nearly £20,000 debt, my partner in £10,000 and other family members in around £20,000 together from loans etc. Last month alone I gambled nearly £15,000 until today my world came crashing down, I’ve been putting gambling before paying our rent and now we’ve had a formal notice, to pay the 2 months rent immediately. That’s £3280. gambling has cost me my job, my home, my life, everything. but the one good thing about this is I finally told my partner everything, it was a very hard conversation to have but she was so supportive of me and really seemed to understand why I’ve been so depressed and low recently. I’ve contacted gamcare and I’m scheduled for a face to face counselling session, I’ve never been to counselling before and I’m so worried it’s going to be patronising because I find it hard enough telling myself stuff let alone a random person but it’s a step in the right direction, my partner is going to have a meeting with our landlord tomorrow to see if they will agree to spread our rent arrears over the rest of the year (fingers crossed) I’m hoping that by being honest and having that horrible talk with my partner things might finally fix. My only real concern is when I gamble I go into a trance like state, it’s almost like a blackout, like it’s someone else gambling. Sometimes I can even hear myself in my head telling myself to stop but I just can’t, like having another person controlling my actions until I finally loose everything and go back to “me” which automatically leaves me depressed and in a really bad way. Just thought I’d explained my rollercoaster of a day.
LabRat.

[Jonny123987]

Hello,

I’m glad your partner is supporting you through this. It seems like you are similar to me in gambling a lot of money over a short period and long period. The lucky thing is you’re 22 years old and can stop now and have this problem behind you in just a few short years. You can have a great life still and this can be a small bit on the radar 10-20 years from now. But you must quit!

You will ruin your life further if you do not stop.

My thoughts to you would be:
1. Turn over all finances to your partner if they aren’t a gambler.
2. Ban yourself from all websites and casinos
3. Get gamble block for your computer and phone.
4. Go to GA and get a sponsor to talk to. It does help and although the sessions seem like a pain to go to you feel somewhat refreshed and better afterwards. Try one and let me know what you think
5. Forgive yourself and let go of the past.

I also feel like I am another person when I gamble. The logical person can’t listen to the gambler. I have cost myself so much by this horrible disease. You don’t; want to do that my young brother.

Best.

[Author]

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