[Stephie799]

Hi guys I was 4 days clear and I relapsed today. The boredom got me. The kids went to their dads and that was it. I lost 400 in the space of 15 min.
I feel sick and angry with myself for doing it.
I’m struggling every day.

[Seanraj4731]

Welcome Stephie
Focus on what made your four days and press restart. Yes relapse happens no doubt about that been down that path many of times.
Now it time to start rewiring back your mind to begin each day a new. Renew mindset to self recovery.
Stephie seek counsel therapy speak to someone whom you trust abt this habit. Be honest. Be open minded. Please attend GA meetings in your area.
What help me after 5yrs in the habit is that been reading people testimonies on this journal forum for three before i had lost 6k . I made my mind up not only that the health was poor as well. So consider your pro and cons of being free from this gamble.
It is getting back your life
Keep journaling on your progress

[Rdy4Chng]

I completely understand. I’ve lost $2000 in about an hour before. Then you walk out thinking how the f*** did I just let that happen?? But we did. We did let it happen.
I’ve been trying to stop for lets say 2 years. For a long time, I guess I didn’t really want to stop either. It’s fun! (haha, nope it’s really not). I have felt sick about my losses. Almost thrown up thinking about it. Thought about suicide. It really does get that bad.
One thing I am learning and I’ve read it over and over again is that we lose when we place our FIRST bet. It’s that first one that gets us, because it never stops there. The first leads to the second leads to $400 gone. It wasn’t the last spin that lost, it was the first one. Ever doing it in the first place.
I am only right now trying AGAIN. I am on day 3. Sorry if I am rambling but I think talking to others who understand and possibly helping others is what will in turn help me.
Stay strong. Look to the future, not the past.

[i-did-it]

Hi Stephie,

Well done one starting a thread – it is so hard to stop gambling but when we do life improves very fast.
It seems you are lonely when your kids leave – perhaps you could find a replacement activity ?
I eventually put gamban on my phone so now even if temptation gets the better of me – I cannot gamble .

I also reported my bank card lost and had someone scratch off the back three numbers on my new one – It means I can use it in shops but not online.
I hope some of these ideas help.

I also hope you are feeling better – the gambling aftermath is so horrible – I have been there so often .

Keep posting Stephie and it would be lovely to see you in groups .

[Stephie799]

Thank you for you support everyone.
Today is another hard day. I’m keeping myself busy by redecorating. Don’t get me wrong I’m still urging to play I have installed the gamban app and that’s helped. I walked past a machine place in my town this morning and kept on walking( hardest thing ever not going in).
I’m just taking each day as it comes.

[Seanraj4731]

Hi stephie. Now that you have observe your thoughts of your mind. You are going rewire those thoughts into positivity. I am going attain my self worth. Self recovery and yes focusing on my greatest wealth my HEALTH. Stephie think about it. Food for thought. Your health is more important right now. 

Keep your thoughts in check. Fill that void by speaking out. Self talk. Self reflection. Keep your mind on recovery. Self healing. 

Be aware that each day begins with you saying yourself i am going rise above this. I am going be healthier now. Keep myself busy with good activities… get a good hobby. Live life take a nature park walk… go to places of interest rake pictures make good memories with your family.fill that void with your family. Keep yourself busy. Take note of your thoughts and feelings. 

Keep on keeping on.

Thank you

[Stephie799]

Hi all
So today was the hardest yet.
I made it though tho. I have my first session with my counselor shortly.
I just have to keep reminding myself that I have to be strong for myself and my children.

[i-did-it]

Well done Stephie

And remind yourself it won’t always be this hard and that u can have lovely things when ur money is spent is spent on the important things in life .

Onwards and upwards xx

[Stephie799]

Yeah I keep reminding myself. It’s hard but I always knew it would be. 

I have to do this for my children and most of all myself. 

Today I walk straight passed the shop I used to go in and felt a sigh of relief when I did. 

Talking to people about it has helped me so much, I don’t feel so isolated and alone. 

[Stephie799]

Yeah I keep reminding myself. It’s hard but I always knew it would be. 

I have to do this for my children and most of all myself. 

Today I walk straight passed the shop I used to go in and felt a sigh of relief when I did. 

Talking to people about it has helped me so much, I don’t feel so isolated and alone. 

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