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So I’m back here again, my first time posting was about 6 months ago, Lasted two clean months but had several relapses since, usually around monthly pay day. I have been gambling for about 3 years now off and on but the debts have mounted up to an almost unmanageable level, I can’t let this go on further, I know this could completely destroy me if untreated.
Feeling very low at the moment after having drained by bank account and now yet another month putting off paying any of my debts, dodging creditors and likely accruing new ones too to survive the month – This has to stop now!!
I don’t even know how it started earlier today, I went looking for an online casino I hadn’t self excluded from – and that wasn’t easy, completely on auto-pilot, and kept dumping deposit after deposit in waiting for that a big win that never seems to come, and now i’m penniless.
Day Zero, for the last time. I’m going to do this differently now because will power and all my good intentions aren’t working.
My best friend knows about my problem gambling, I opened up to him a few months ago and he said he would help me protect/manage my finances if needs be – so I have cancelled my debits cards as “Lost” and expecting new ones to arrive in the next few days, Will give to him when they arrive unopened so I can’t memorize the number.
I’ve also found a gambling charity service in ROI where I’m based that offer some counselling sessions for Gambling recovery – has anyone here had any luck/revelations with approaches?
Will keep this updated as much as I can, any support greatly appreciated as I feel pretty numb right now, I’m sure gravity of what I’ve done yet again will hit hard tomorrow.
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If you can get counselling then please go for it. I feel getting someone’s undivided attention and being able to let out all that is going on for you is a real luxury that doesn’t happen anywhere else in life.
There are several approaches to counselling so it will vary depending on which is taken – but as a minimum your counsellor should listen in a non-judgemental way, giving respect and hopefully having some insight into what you are going through.
When I was in ROI earlier this year I attended a GA meeting – I wonder if you have considered this alongside your counselling? The more things we can do to tackle gambling the better.
I felt I reached a point where gambling could destroy me – that made me determined that it wouldn’t. I hope the same determination will stay with you. I wish you well. -
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
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It appears that the service uses CBT – which is an approach in counselling based on modifying a person’s thinking. So, the counselling will be based on what is going on for you in the here and now and less likely to take into account deeper issues from childhood etc. It is the approach used by SMART who have an online resource that many on here have found useful.
As for GA – the usual structure of the meeting is to read from some of the GA literature on compulsive gambling – and then people in the room are asked to speak about their gambling past and what has been going on for them since their last meeting. It is anonymous – first names only and what is said in the room should stay in the room. I would expect that you will be welcomed and asked to listen at first – then when everyone else has spoken you will be asked as to what brought you to the meeting. You can say as much or as little as you wish. People may then comment and/or give advice – but generally you will be given some of the GA literature to read and asked to keep coming.
It is important to remember that GA is a support group of individuals supporting each other – so there are variations depending on the size of the group and the personalities present. It might be useful to go to 2 or 3 different meetings to find one that clicks with you.
Watch out for payday loans – they are not only very expensive – if you can’t make the payments they can spiral out out control. I would avoid them if you possibly can.
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I used to have regrets over my gambling years. Now I think that they happened for a reason – for me to have worked on myself and thus have this new life perhaps?
I can’t go back and undo what I did and who knows what my life would have been like without gambling. I would imagine that it would have been a lot better – but would it? I had a lot of problems that gambling took the pain away from – would I have found something else to numb me which may have also had dire consequences?
I think taking a whole new approach is a brave thing to do – and I hope that you will see positive results. I wish you well for your counselling sessions and for your gf life.
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I am on day 5 (I actually had to look it up because I’ve started and stopped so many times in the past few months that ive actually stopped myself from counting) and found a trick that had helped me easily stop even thinking about starting again. I had to go into my bank account and look up a transaction yesterday. I Never go into my accounts because then I would see the transactions and the amount that I actually spent….but I had to and it made me sick to my stomach. Success. I am striving for one month of no transactions that j have to hide from. No emails that I have to delete (I play online) a and no lies that I have to tell. I will start this as of 5 days ago and keep the momentum going. Dont you want to feel good about something that you did (or didnt do, in this case?) Instead of feeling shame? I am trying to assume that, like all other things in life, this is a choice, we can make it or not, succeed or not, and continue or not. We have to take as much pride in not gambling as enjoyment from playing. It is something that we have to be conscious of, every waking moment, and deal with like it’s your life depending on it. I need to keep talking to you because it keeps the solution in the fore front of my mind and you need to keep pushing yourself to get help.in whatever form you can get it. The key is to do exactly what you have done and in that you have made great strives. Good job.
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