[positivemindset]

Hello everyone 

i have been clean since 2013 and i had a bad relapse today 

the trigger i think started around September when my business sales are very very slow

its a lot of pressure because you are at the mercy of other people to spend money to buy your products 

I built my business from scratch to forget the gambling and make myself busy with my business,,, when the urge comes i just do something else to occupy my mind of another thought

I have done this for the last 5 years 

But today i felt powerless, i felt weak , i felt very vulnerable about my relapse 

Its like someone is saying through your head “ if you gamble all your worries about not paying your bills will be solved “ when i know that you can only earn money through hard work that is what i felt today

in the middle of my gambling relapse theres another voice saying “ this is wrong you need to stop dont waste the 5 years you have built up being clean “ i stopped and went home and call gamblers help number

A lost a large sum of money but didn’t lose it all because I stopped at the middle of it all ( im doing sports betting )

im just disappointing that my wife and i saved that amount money for a long time but i just lost it in a day !!!

im really really disappointed with myself because i promisr since my daughter was born 2013 that I will really stop gambling and i did for the last 5 years but today i dont know what happened 

its really hard to build that trust that you have changed

i dont know what came to me to just gamble away today

when you think your doing great thats the time you need to be stronger and be aware of your actions 

day 1 again and i hope this will be longer than forever

one day at a time

[jen3]

I am sorry you had a slip. The slip does not take away from your 5 years of freedom! That is so great!! You did it before you can do it again. I wish you the best!

[Author]

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