[MGAV7171]

I need help and want to stop gambling. I have been sticking my feelings, no matter if they are sad, depressed or happy ones, down a slot machine for years. I started when a casino opened close to my house several years ago. My Aunt wanted to go and I happily brought her. I was instantly attracted to the lights, bells and whistles and what seemed to be the high life. For years I didn’t go alone, always with an exact amount and a partner. we would go for entertainment, dinner and drinks. Overtime I found myself going alone to escape the feelings of trauma from a very abusive marriage.
After we divorced I didn’t go as often, partially because I didn’t have the funds to support this very expensive habit and I went back to school to graduate as a nurse. After finding a good job and settled into my new career as a RN I became financially comfortable and decided to go out with my friends to the same casino. I thought, I haven’t played in years so this wouldn’t get a grip on me as it had the first time. Well, is this disease ever so sneaky and how silly I feel now to think I didn’t have an addiction. This past year I would go almost every weekend. The stress of working with the sick and dying in the medical field led me to the same place I could go and escape from the stress. I would often say “I just want to go down the casino and go into a coma with just me and my slot machine.” At first it was a few hundred dollars a week but quickly turned into my entire paycheck. I would lie to my new husband of my weareabouts so he wouldn’t think I had a problem and we could go as a couple for entertainment once a month. He paid most of the bills and we have our own accounts so I wasn’t accountable for my money and could spend it on whatever I wanted. I realized it became a problem when I asked him if I could borrow money to pay my car payment. He asked why I didn’t have it and I lied and told him my mom needed to borrow money so he graciously lent it to me. I promised myself that was the end of me going to the casino and depositing my check into a slot machine. But it didn’t work longer than two weeks. And when I went back I swear the casino has this radar of knowing when someone is about to quit and I hit for a several thousand. And than again and again and again. I was on a wining streak but as fast as I was winning I was putting it all back in. My low came when my husband realized I had no savings and was barely able to again make my car payment.
So here I am. I need help and this is my first stop. I’m seriously considering of adding myself to the self exclusion list but I’m so embarrassed and ashamed I let this horrible disease get the best of me. I thought I was mentally stronger than this but it has a grip I can’t shake off.
Any advice or thoughts on starting and staying away from the casino and the self exclusion would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

[Ryan123678]

Self exclusion is needed don’t be embarrassed maybe you can do it by emailing the casino.
Try to tell your husband everything getting the weight off your shoulders will help and maybe let him manage your finances.
It’s great that you are looking for help on here that is a good step. Take one day at a time. You can do this stay strong get your life back on track.

[KiwiMac]

You’ve done one of the hardest things already, which is admitting that you need help, and it’s obvious you want things to change. It’s not just the money losses I’ve found, but the shame of the addiction that is hard to deal with. But it’s an addiction that can grab a hold of anyone. Not everyone is strong enough to ask for help.

I highly recommend self excluding, it will help put your mind at ease. I installed ganban on my laptop and phone and it stops me from being able to gamble online, and it’s such a relief to me because it means it’s not even an option, even when I have urges.

[Steev]

You are in the grips of a behavioural problem and there is no need to be ashamed or embarrassed. Would you be ashamed if you found you had a peanut allergy? This is no different – except that to save your life – it is not peanuts you have to avoid it is gambling.

You need to take this seriously – gambling could destroy your marriage, your health and your finances – to such a degree that bankruptcy and homelessness is not unknown amongst even people on this site.

So, as others have said, exclude yourself from places where you gamble. If you can, hand your finances over to your partner ( consider that he needs to know – you can’t let lies destroy your relationship either – if you can’t face telling him yet, get support to do this.)

Get support in any case – look for self-help such as GA in your area, and/or consider counseling help. Keep posting here and if you can make it to a support group – there is a facilitated one on Thursday evening at 7pm GMT. I wish you well.

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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