[easterbunny86]

Hello ..

Hopefully this is the correct forum. If not, I apologize!

Im obviously new and feel I have hit rock bottom a few times now. I have to be done with this, because I feel this legal addiction is sucking the life of me. I really feel a different person. An ugly person now. And i just want the person I was before I even knew what a casino was. There are many major casinos here in the NW and they have become a source of comfort for me. I am under considerable stress being almost done with a medical program and only a couple months away from finding a decent paying job. I just want this behind me so I can finally have a financial life free of debt and the ugly compulsions of gambling.

I think it started maybe about 3 years ago when I first started playing and won $800 off a slot with a single line hit. I didnt even realize it happened and the endorphins came rushing in my brain. Just the last 4.months or so Ive hit three jackpots and have put back in sooo much more. It is so embarrassing to think of how much I have actually spent. I finally broke down Thursday spending the last.of my dollars and talked to.my.father. i am quite lucky to have the family I have and cannot do this to them and keep borrowing money. I love them so much and want to make them proud, not disgusted. I have not played since Thursday and am quite worried about the itch coming back.

I look forward to reading the stories here and how you all made your healing and moving forward happen. I would love any and all feedback. Thank you so much.

-EB

[velvet]

Hello EB and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[easterbunny86]

Thank you Jappy799 for making me feel welcome. I already have the itch coming back strong because I know I am getting paid Tuesday and I already have voices telling me I can play one more time, win back some and walk away. This is just so crazy. How could I do that? To my Father who already helped me! I sure hope these thoughts die down at some point.

My father told me never to gamble ever again, but at the same time he wants me to force myself to go into a casino with my boyfriend who occassionally gambles and can be in control.of himself, so I can face my urges. I did this last night and watched my boyfriend play only about $10 and we walked out with freeplay and used that for a good dinner.

I can tell this is going to be rough. Especially Thursday when I have money and some extra free time after an early class.

I think I will see if my mom can hold on to my debit cards and help hold me accountable for where I am. Im pretty busy most the week except for Thursdays…

Thank you again for responding, I greatly appreciate it 🙂 though the urges are there I already feel a weight lifted off me.

-EB

[velvet]

Hi EB
Family members struggle to get things right when a gambling addiction that they do not understand lands in the middle of their lives. They tend to do all the wrong things for all the right reasons and it is only with knowledge that they get things right but when they do, their support can be invaluable.
Although you did not actively join in with your boyfriend ‘this time’ your mind would almost certainly have been in gamble-mode; this is called ‘dry’ gambling which keeps the addictive juices flowing and usually results in relapse. To control your problem you will have to be very courageous and determined and say no to temptation. Putting temptation in the way of your recovery implies that you have not accepted the strength of your problem. Perhaps you could explain this to your boyfriend who I am sure would not want to be instrumental in a fall that will only bring you misery.
Your boyfriend is lucky that he can gamble responsibly but you can’t. Find things that you can do together where no gambling is involved. When he goes to the casino maybe you could see friends or take up another interest or hobby that you have put to one side or not considered yet. The same applies to Thursday; plan your day around things that give you pleasure but avoid gambling which will bring you nothing but devastation.
Asking your mum to help you control your finances is excellent.
Keep going EB; the way to thank your family for their support, is to be happy and live a healthy life, which for you means being gamble-free. No parent could ask for more
Velvet

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