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Pretty much hit rock bottom, or at least finally realized I have no control and need to just accept it and STOP. i have gathered over $24k in credit debt and after stoppimg for a week, lost control and piled on another $3.5k doing online blackjack and sports betting just yesterday and today. I know in a week I’ll just get comfortable with the losses and then…back to gambling! So, maybe writing my thoughts will help.
Have been gambling for a long time, since 19 and am now 30. Went from online poker and blackjack to sports gambling. Had some big wins which seemed great back then, but looking back at it all it did was make me chase that possibolity for the next 10 years.
i would win some, lose some, and if I needed a big win to get back to even or up, I always would somehow so for the most party just low stress gambling. Average bet at aboit $100 with big bets at $400. Gambling was fun, I was winning, and I would bet on games I woild adtually watch and knew how to cashoit while ahead or stop when going down. i even stopped gambling because online sports books were making it so difficult to deposit and to also cashout. Was personally happy and Didn’t feel the need to “make” money by gambling.
Then about A year later I was set up with a bookie through a friend. Suddenly, gone were the declined visa transactions and I could just place bets directly through a mobile website. My friends had the same bookie so we would all make Bets together….FUN, but troublesome as it was so difficult to just take a weekend off from gambling like I would do in the past. Saturday’s and Sunday’s were spent watching games and making bets.
At this same time in my life, I had a change where i started to gamble not because I liked sports, but because it was a distraction from shit I didn’t like. I had recently been Laid off from a job and industry I loved and then landed in a job and company that i loathed, but thought would be good experience in the long run. Placing a bet for an evening game, or especially of a match or game that was on during the day, made me just feel better…kind of like a mid-afternoon coffee effect haha. If I would lose that bet though, everything Would come back to depressing reality until I placed another one…and so on and so on. Gambling wasnt affecting my work quality, but it was preventing me from taking the steps to remove myself from the unhappy career hole that I was digging myself into. Both financially and mentally. Went from brainstorming how To obtain my dream job every lunch to obsessing over who To pick for Monday night football game. Gambling officially became my preferred release from my issues.
Overthe next 2-3 years I started to gamble more money and more frequently. If there was a game on, I would bet it. Losses started to pile on massively and I used credit card debt to fund myself chasing my losses to a tune of $14k+. All my income was goimg straight into gambling. I would drastically cut down on all expenses so to try to get out of debt, but any improvwment would be wiped out by the next big loss. Add in that I was getting a lot of Travel reimbursements from work (so like $2k cash every paycheck), it was just so easy to keep trying to get back to “even” . A very bad run tirned $14k into $19k almost overnight and I called it quits finally. Told my bookie to never take a bet from me again and stopped.
Uhhh…wow. First month I was miserable and multiple times tried to gamble again through friends or online, but after a few weeks, the terrible habit of gambling became a habit of NOT-gambling. I quit obsessing over scores and actually did things unrelated to gambling. I didn’t stress over losses because there were none to have. My credit debt actually started to go down! And fast!
Then i bet again. I had been turned down for pretty much my personal “Dream job” and quickly lost two $500 bets in a “cheer up” attempt. I then chased with online blackjack to break even, but i was back to gambling again… 8 months down the drain and I quickly piled back on all the debt over the past few months while also depleting $8k in savings. The debt feels crippling all over again and I cannot help thinking that the easisest way to Solve it is to just keep gambling…
Ugh. Day 1.
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Hello Edorko and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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As you story shows, we will never get it back. As much as we hope, and play… we can never get it back. If somebody would write me a check for half of what I have lost over the years, I would be a rich man!!! I would probably then head to the Casino and lose it all back again!…. But hopefully not, we are here to help eachother stay away…. You are not alone! keep the faith, and stay away, one day at a time!
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Don r give up. Keep trying. I am very frugal in certain areas but have lost a ton of money over the years. This addiction changes you mood, outlook on life and takes your joy away. One day atca time. Take care and stay strong!
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That is a common trait among CG’s. Being frugal. Actually, it’s because once we have a gambling problem we refuse to spend “gambling” money on silly things like a nice cut of meat or a quality piece of clothing. We need that money free to obtain our fix. We are addicted to the chemical release we get when we win! Not the cashout. Once it’s cashed out it is only exciting if we think about using it again for gambling. For that possible thrill of a big win! Once we become a CG we can no longer control ourselves for any amount of time. Because we want that feeling just one more time. And one more time. You were recovering your finances fairly quickly last time you stopped. You can do that again. But, being a CG you need to also address the addiction and not just stop playing. There are groups that you can do here on the site. What about going to an addictions counselor? Or attending Gamblers Anonymous meetings if there are any near you? It takes a lot of support and effort to stop and stay stopped. But it is worth it. Keep posting.
Laura
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