[BP225]

Hello everyone, i’m 21 and my name is Ben, just hoping talking to some of you will help me get out of this vicious cycle i’ve been in for the past 5 years of my life.

Just sick to my stomach and tired of gambling all of money away every month.

The solution is so simple right? Just stop betting and all my problems would be nonexistent. But i’m sure as all of you know it’s not that easy. 

It all started with betting on CS:GO matches back when I was in high school. Back then it was’t as much of a problem, i’d throw a few bucks here and there and not have to worry too much.

It started becoming a bigger problem when I turned 18 and started betting at online casinos. I turned 25 dollars into 2k one night and from that point on it went from recreation to what feels like a physical drug.

I had enough control to not chase my losses for the longest time. But tonight I threw a few hundred dollars down, lost it, and then re-deposited money that I couldn’t afford to lose and lost it on one hand of 21.

I know in my heart that I will lose any money I put on the site but I can’t seem to stop myself from depositing, gambling for a while, and then going full tilt and throwing it all away.

It’s all for that rush of addrenaline and chance of winning it big, I know i’m sick and still can’t stop myself. It’s the worst feeling in the world.

All my love and prayers go out to those who have lost a LOT more than what I have, but the money i’m losing is still making me scrape change for rent every month and it’s eating me up inside.

I might have been able to buy something to keep me occupied away from gambling if i just didn’t bet it all away immediately.

FUCK GAMBLING, between betting, smoking, drinking, and anything you can consider addictive i’m fucking on that shit. My brain now requires a fuckton of dopamine that I can’t afford to keep feeding.

My family has no idea, hoping it doesn’t to the point where I have to tell them. I think I can still survive this month but i’m gonna have to keep a balance on one of my credit cards.

I can catch up next month but it kills me to work 40 hours a week and have nothing to show for it other than to pay of gambling debts. I’m fucking done. 

Thank you if you read this. Just looking for help.

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Steev]

I was really struck by your post as it outlined the slow, continuous battle with gambling. Some on here have taken the big hit and lost thousands in one night – but others, like you and me just keep losing most of our wages. We get by, but day to day living is a struggle and all we have to look forward to is the next bet and maybe a win that will ease the pressure a bit. It is no life.

You said, “The solution is so simple right? Just stop betting and all my problems would be nonexistent.” No – your problems will still be there, but you will no longer be able to use gambling to avoid looking at them. If you stop gambling you will no longer ADD to your problems but they will not magically go away. That’s the bad news. The good news is that you can stop gambling, the other good news is that you can get support for your problems – especially if you can overcome the shame / embarrassment you feel about gambling and talk to people.

So bar yourself from places where you gamble – if on-line try gamstop or similar. Off line is more difficult but speak to specific places you go to. If it is only on-line you could consider scraping off the 3 digit code on your credit card so you can’t input it. (If you know it by heart – replace your card and ask someone else to do it for you.) Try not to handle your own finances – this might mean getting a close friend or family member involved – it is worth it.

Beyond all else – get support for yourself. Preferably locally – see if self-help groups like GA operate in your area and go to a meeting. If not look at support on -line there is one-to-one on this site, groups or virtual meetings at places like SMART.

I lived from hand to mouth for several years – even after I had stopped gambling. But I was 10 years older than you when I first sought help and so had done more damage. I also had no family support to call on (that is a choice you may need to make.) I have been clean from slots for over 20 years (with one or two slips) – so it CAN be done. Go well.

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