[aquariusage]

Hey guys, I am happy that I found this place since where I live there is no anonymous group meetings like there are in US and other countries. There is no one I can talk about my problem here, so having found this place is a real bless (I hope).

My compulsive gambling began few months ago combined with substance abuse so I don’t know which is the cause of the other, or they are just somehow interconnected.

Going to the Casino (slot addiction) was like going to my safety place where I can enjoy just being with myself and the slot machine, getting high and drinking heavily, a drink brought to me by a fine, polite lady. I could sit there for hours. Nothing interests me outside this, I forget about all my anxiety of the every day life. The moment I started realizing that I (and my family as a result) have a problem is when money dried out. Then debts began. Then more debts. The goal is to the precious in my mind: I want to enjoy playing.

We were able to somehow get out of this debt situation through a bank credit that my wife took and we all thought that it is finally over. But it was not. As soon as things settled, after a few days experiencing boredom and lethargy at home, I ended up going to the Casino again. Those nice feelings of a safety, enjoyment, curiosity as to the slot variants, excitement, the rush of adrenaline when I am winning and the anger and fear when I am loosing; all these were back again and I felt “at home” once again. Money started drying out again, more debt and the moment I am writing this is the point where I could easily get back to the place where I was before my wife took the bank credit. I came home and my wife was crying, even hysterical. The kids (5 and 3 years old) confused as to not knowing what is going on, I realized that I need to put an end to this. I have tried before but somehow I lied to my self again and again. Then I started googling for an online help and this is how I have found this place.

Sorry for my rambling thoughts. I have just put out what I felt and thought at the moment. If you have any comments please share them. I am new to the website and the forum, so any guidelines as to where and how to start would be highly appreciated.

• This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by Dunc.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by aquariusage.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by aquariusage.

[aquariusage]

In my country there is a saying (in a bit of funny manner): “The grandmother didn’t beat the kid for going to gamble, but because he went to chase his losses”.

I have found that “chasing the loses” was only 50% of the motivation, the other 50% was an excuse to go to the Casino and enjoy my time there.

[G Rec]

Welcome to the forum aquariusage and well done on taking a positive step to address the issue further.

You mentioned looking for guidelines on where to start. To help with this, I would suggest attending one of the new member’s groups that are held on Mondays and Thursdays. I found these extremely useful when I first joined for advice/suggestions on clear steps that can be taken to help.

One of these initial steps is putting barriers in place to make it as difficult as possible to gamble. Removing or reducing access to money can be a great barrier combined with accountability for any money spent. You mentioned that your wife is aware of the problem and has already taken steps to try and help, you could consider removing the direct access you have to your money, with any spend needing to go through her first.

Another barrier is removing access to gambling, you mentioned that you went to Casino, to prevent this in the future, you could request that the Casino self excludes you meaning that you would not be allowed to go there.

[aquariusage]

Hey G Rec, thank you for your response and advice. I am looking forward to Monday to check out the members groups. I have also read some articles on this site which are very helpful.

As of self-excluding me from the Casinos, I am not sure if this is possible here. Is there such a law in your country, that if I ask them to ban me they are suppose to do that? I don’t think that works that way here. First of all, there are hundreds of Casinos in my city. Yes, they are on every corner, not outside of the city. And this is a capital of my country, not some special gambling city like Vegas or Macao.

As of now I am a couple of days clean and I still don’t have the urge to go. This is because I do other activities I enjoy like watching tv series or movies. These days I especially watch gambling problem movies like “Going for broke”. But I am also aware that the urge may come in near future. I have been “strong” earlier like I think I am now, but I also remember where the urge begins: when some income comes and I feel secure that I now have money, and want to enjoy and somehow in that moment I lie to myself that this will be just an one hour spare time, which we all now it isn’t.

I keep myself mentally prepared for such periods as I know them from experience. As you suggest, it would be good if my wife has all the control over the money. The thing is that in what I do for a living, not all money come through a bank and some of the freelancing money come hand on hand. This is why I must be strong and give them to my wife as soon as they come to my hand.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by aquariusage.

[margie101]

Hi. Congratulations on recognizing that you have a problem and getting help.

I just want to encourage you to follow up with the resources on this site. I have found very thoughtful and considered insights.

Sometimes, just knowing that you are not alone, and that other people ‘get it’ can be massively helpful.

I wish you the best on your journey, wherever you need to go.

[G Rec]

Hi aquariusage,

Regarding the Casinos and getting self-excluded. This is something that can be done easily enough in the UK where you can self exclude yourself from all betting facilities in one go rather than having to contact each Casino/Betting Premises individually.

I don’t know how self-exclusion works in other countries, but if the Casinos require you to have a membership to enter the premises, they should be able to permanently close your membership if you request it.

[Author]

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