[erenachi]

Hello All,

My name is Erekle, from Tbilisi, Georgia.
i’m writing this because noone around me knows that i’m gambler addicted, i can not share this information with my family or friends or anyone else around me. And i want to get any kind of support on how to get my life back and live without gambling…

I’m now 27 year old. I started playing (losing money) 2 years ago.
My life was great before April of 2015. I have bachelor degree in Business management, and master degree is Finance. I had a good job with enough salary for my family but…
In the April of 2015 i had a strong car accident. And i injured a man crossing the road. He was very injured and i had to cover all his recovery cost.. it took around 50 000$ USD for fully recovery. He is walking and feeling good now.

After everything was finished with him, i had debts around 15 000$ (no more). And i made the worst decision of my life… i started playing slots…

During these 2 years i lost everything, i had private baby cloth and shoes shop in the center of Tbilisi, I have sold everything, i had 2 cars i had (Mercedes e class of 2008 and Toyota Land Cruiser Prado of 2017). I started to get all kind of credits from Banks and MicroFinance organizations. I was accepting all kind of conditions from the banks and every time i was getting new debts it was a “Chance” for me to get my life back..
But final result was that i was just arising and arising my debs.. during last 2 years.. My total debts including bank, microfanance, and persons i know is more than 150 000$…

Please give me a suggestions what to do, if such kind of story is familiar with you. I really want to get my life, which i had before 2015 of April. But i cant, gambling makes me to play and play, and every spin be a chance for me to get my life back.. i cant stop playing… but i realise this only i see on my account 0.00$.

I have wife and daughter (she is 2 years old). I dont want to lost them… please give me any suggestion…

The only thing i’m thinking is to suicide, to finish everything.. I dont see any other way… please advice what to do…

[Anonymous]

Suicide or telling your family, both hard things. Gambling has given you 2 years of hell. Your suicide will give your wife and daughter a lifetime of it, could you really do that to them?

A much better idea would be to learn how to stop this, not tomorrow or after you’ve had one more attempt to win your money back. Stop it now.

I know it feels impossible to you, I promise you I know. Many of us here have been suicidal at times, seriously we have, it is no joke.

Gambling is no joke.

Tell me Erekle would you agree that you have become powerless against gambling, it surely sounds like it. Do you truly believe your life has become unmanageable because of it? Considering suicide I would think so.

There are lots of things you can do to make gambling difficult, you can buy software that will block gambling sites, if its online you gamble. If you gamble at venues they will have an exclusion programme.

The two things I mention will not cure you but they will help prevent you gambling.

Have you looked for GA? (Gamblers Anonymous). They have meetings in most countries.

There is no quick fix my friend, but suicide is definatley not the answer.

You may think it impossible but you can stop. I gambled for about 35 years, I havn’t gambled for over a year now you can stop.

For me I had to learn to talk and open up to people, I had to start being honest. I would highly recommend that you seek a counsellor to talk to.

Have you spoken to anyone about this?

If not I would highly recommend you do. You are not unique when it comes to the predicament you are in. I would like to suggest you look at this story.

http://www.gamblingtherapy.org/en/first-post

It may just give you a bit of hope.

Take care.

Your wife and daughter love you, you are in trouble they don’t want to see you suffer.

Your wife and daughter would have a very painful life if you killed yourself.

Give your wife the respect she deserves and tell her of your problem, she can maybe hold the family finances.

You have qualifications, and once the numbness wears off, although you have a lot of debt, I’m sure you will have a good earnings potential and be able to get into repayment plans to clear your debt.

No good doing that until you’ve spoken about your gambling to someone. You are not an idiot or stupid. You have a genuine and real problem.

You can get it sorted out.

[Monica1]

Hi Erekle
Firstly,well done for coming to this forum to get help. You really are not alone and suicide is not the answer. This addition is all consuming and progressive and whilst it is up and running it will push us to self destructon. The first important thing is that you really must have a desire to stop gambling, and then you must self exclude from all of the sites you play on. Betfilter or a free blocker I hear, although have not used it, is K9. Have you stopped gambling erekle?

The second is that you cannot quit without support. The forums here are very supportive, it is a helpful community with facilitated new members groups and chat groups where you can gain Support from other gambling addicts who are in recovery. The key thing is that even if we are in a deep hole, we will never dig ourselves out of it if we keep digging the hole deeper. Remember, compulsive gamblers never win. Every win goes back and more. Once we have crossed the line we cannot stop.
Do you have a form of income? That is a real plus once we stop. Is there any organisation like GA in Georgia or local support you are able to get? This could be counselling or therapy? It sounds like the accident was a trigger event for you to start on slots. Harmless fun becomes funless harm.
Is it really possible that your wife and family don’t know? Why can’t you tell them? You will never get your money back if you continue to gamble. The big win won’t happen. The money spent has gone .It will just take and take and take.
We have all been where you are. It takes time to heal but we have to stop making it worse. Many have lost more than you mention. Is this now your rock bottom erekle? There is help here.
There are a number of gambling gaddicts on here who have also been driven to thoughts of suicide, including me. I cannot stress enough now that is not the answer. You have a wife and family and a 2 Year daughter. They need you erekle and they need you to get on top of the addiction. It would destroy their lives for the rest of their lives if you were to take the easy way out. Recovery is the way out, the only way. It will take time to heal but it is so worth it. Keep posting.

[finding_laura]

Dear Ereckle,

you need to stop the bleeding. Stop the bleeding of money and credit. To make that happen you have to stop gambling.

When you first played you did not know this was going to happen. You did not ask for a gambling addiction. But now you have one. And your money is how you get your fix.

You need to use your sense to outsmart your addicted brain! Tell your wife and ask her to take over the money. Or a trusted parent, or a trusted sibling. Someone has to take over your money. You can’t be trusted with it right now. Once you stop the bleeding of money it will help immediately.

Get some support for yourself. Talk to the help line here. See what is available in your area on the resources pages. Get counseling if you can. You will need this support to come through the aftermath.

Your little girl needs you to do this for her. You didn’t ask for addiction, but you can ask for recovery. You can earn more money, but she can never get another daddy.

Please know that you can come back from this. There a many who have. Life isn’t always easy. But this can be done if you really want to stop hurting yourself and those you love. Take the first steps.

Laura

[i-did-it]

Well done on seeking support Ereckle.
This is a horrible illness but so many people have overcome it and live happy prosperous lives.
You can have a great life too.
Don’t give up

[charles]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi Erekle and welcome to the site. Well done on looking for help. As you mention considering suicide the first thing I have to do is give you this link…..

Home

There is always someone you can talk to. I can promise you though that you can stop gambling and that there is a lot of life after gambling.

Read the other stories here, you will see a lot that you will realte to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

We also have live groups to talk about gambling recovery options and a one to one helpline as well.

You can stop gambling, you can have a great life moving forward. You are no longer alone with this problem, keep posting here and welcome to the community.

[finding_laura]

How are you today Erekle?

more of the same is not the answer. The definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

You can take a step

Laura

[i-did-it]

Hi Erekle ,
It would be so nice to read another post from you .
You can beat this .

[erenachi]

Hello,

Thank you very much for your kind support. I’m sorry for my late response but i had no access to the internet these days.

I totally agree with your that my decision for my wife will be harmful for a lifetime. But the worst thing is that if i’ll tell her the truth she will not stay with me. I’m almost sure about it. I will not be able to live without her and my daughter… all i have left are they…

It really feels impossible to stop gambling.. i have not played these 2 days, but maybe just because that i have no money for it. I have removed my last 420 GEL(around 180$) from my credit card not to transfer it to online gambling site.. and keeping it in my pocket.. and i really feel better.. but i made like this many times..

My friend, its the first posts and you all are first persons who know about it, i tried many times to start talking with my wife, but i can’t.. i just can’t… Words dont come out from my mouth.. and every time she asks me whats wrong, i’m answering that i had bad day at job. I dont know how to tell her.. maybe it will be easier if i write down a latter about my life for last 2 year, and ask her to read it. What do you think about it?

And the worst thing is that, i really have a good job, but because i was thinking about gambling, i wasnot able to done my job. and money earning in my job depends only on done projects. In 2014 i have done more that 25 project and my earning was more than 45 000$ (this is good earning for Georgia, average earning per year is around 3600-4000$), and last year i made only 3 projects… This makes me crazy, i really have good opportunity to solve everything with my debts, but first of all bank and microfance organizations will not wait.. they push me and percents are arising and arising… OMG.. worst 2 years of my life…

i want to type all my feeling but it was always hard for me to talk about my feelings..

My grandfather always told me, what happens everything is for better. And i was living like that, but this time, i cant not find any advantage from my situation..

Thanks again for your kind advices. There is a solution in everything, but i dont know how to solve it yet.
i’m sure ill find a way but it should not be late or bad solution.

[erenachi]

Hello Monicau

Thank you very much for your support.
In my last reply, i mentioned that i have not played last 2 days, i removed my last money from my creadit card and keeping it in my pocket for not to transfer it on online gambling sites. I have done it many times, i had gambling block, but my brother made a present, and he gave me new cell phone. On which i have not made a block, i thought i can handle it without it but i could not.. At the moment i dont have block.

Yes i have a good job, but i can not concentrate on my job, because i’m only thinking about my debts and my problems.. and earning depends only on done projects. Fixed salary is very very low (500GEL=190#), but bonus earning can be anything starting from 100$ to 10000$ or even more. depends on project. Highest bonus i had was 12000$.
This is really good opportunity for me to cover everything but, i cant not concentrate on my job…

And about the GA organizations, i have never heared anything about it in Georgia. I think here dont exist anything like that.
You are right, accident was a trigger event for me to start slots. i have never thought about it before. One of my friend sometimes were playing slots but, he played with really low balance 5-10-15$ no more, and i was always talking with him not to play, and you can not win in here, but i made much more worst…

” The big win won’t happen. The money spent has gone .It will just take and take and take.” when i understand this i was already late unfortunately.

Thanks again for your kind words, i really had tear on my eyes when i read last paragraph.. thanks for that words.

[erenachi]

Hello Laura,

Thank you very much for your comment and support.
To give money to someone, first i have to tell the truth, this is what i can not do yet. i’ try to dinf a way how to make it.

“You can earn more money, but she can never get another daddy.” totally agree, this really affected on me.. thanks.

I really want to stop gambling, and i will do everything for it. Hope ill access the finish point soon.
I really thank you what you wrote, this really made me to think in a different way.

Erekle

[erenachi]

Thank you my friend.

Hope ill over come this illness soon.

[Monica1]

Thanks for the reply back. How r u doing? My view, which many may not agree with is to tell your wife when you feel strong enough to do so. And not in a letter. Why doyou. It feel able to do it face to face? See if you can have a financial recovery plan in place before you do so. Is there no help for compulsive gamblers in Georgia?

[erenachi]

Doing more or less fine based on my situation )))
I agree with you its better to talk face to face… but.. it was even better not to start gambling..

Financial recovery plan is a good idea. Because of my job.. if i stop gambling and if there will be a little financial support i’m sure i can recover. But because of lack of time i dont have financial plan. At the moment i’m working on good project and if i finish them it will have good earnings but it need 2-3 month, and before that time bank will “eat” me..

About the compulsive gamblers in Georgia there is no help, at least i tried to find some, but i cant find any information about it. Unfortunately Here we have only casinos…

Before telling to my wife, ill double check all my plans and project and will try to talk with her face to face.
But again almost sure she will left me, thats the main reason i’m not telling her.. Trying to be with her as much time as i can… I’m afraid and worried only about it. I’m afraid on losing her.. losing money is not even close comparing of loosing her and my daughter.. But the truth is that She dont deserve father like me, and my wife – husband like me…

By telling ill destroy her life.. by not telling anyway ill destroy her life.. so of course its better to tell her the truth. I have an option between bad and worst..

[erenachi]

Dear Friend,

Yes during whole day, i’m reading stories like me, and it really feels better. Its not me only one, who has or had same problems and they made. It means its not imposible, it just looks like impossible. This is a fact… but sometimes we dont believe in what we see, because we dont want to see the truth, we are afraid or not strong enough to face the problem… The same happens with me…

I know its better to stop, i know its better to tell my familly and friends, but i’m afraid of loosing them all…

After writing down here everything and trying to share my fellings here, i really feel better a little bit, but i know this is not enough. Everyone can type but not everyone can stop gambling and starting to get his/her life back somehow..

Thank you very much for your support, really appreciate it.

[i-did-it]

Ring your bank and speak to them Erenachi
Tell them what happened and how you are going to wort this out .
I find Its good to go to them before they go to you – the will have dealt with this before and they will come up with a sensible repayment plan .
It will be easier to tell your wife of you when a financial recovery plan in place – you earn good wages – you can sort this .
There is little in life that cannot be sorted by talking Eranachi .

[erenachi]

i didnt even thought that its possible to talk with the bank about payments and change some conditions. Its really first time i have credit from the bank… but ill try to talk with them on monday lets see what they will say

after this it will be easier to estimate and prepare recovery plan.

Thank you again

[Monica1]

Right, firstly erekle, you did not ask for this addiction. We are good people with a bad addiction. If you thought when you started gambling that it would lead to a trail of addiction and destruction would you have done it? I would not. Harmless fun becomes funless harm. Easier said than done but try not to feel so guilty about what has happened. I went through huge guilt and when we feel that way it is easier to just keep digging the hole because we feel that there is no way out.
Awful that there is help in Georgia. But this site and the groups have been an enormous source of help for me. It can help to keep you motivated and supported. One of the things we do as compulsive gamblers is isolate ourselves. We have to get help and support. This is so important.

[finding_laura]

Hi Ereckle,

when you talk to the bank I wouldn’t advise them that you have a gambling problem. Is there any other reason you could say why you would be a little short of income? Here gambling addiction is considered an addiction or health issue. Could you say you had a little setback due to health issues but you are back on track and with a little help from then regarding repayment terms you have substantial income coming. Just a thought. I know banks aren’t keen on dealing with gamblers once you’ve spent all the loan money. One step at a time. It takes a lot of effort but you are in survival mode now. For you and your family.

take care, Laura

[Author]

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