[CW89]

I am a compulsive gambler

I guess that is the first and most important step done to admit you have a gambling problem . My story goes a little like this . From a young age i kinda got a buz from the fruit machine at the local arcade but never thought anything of it as it was something i grew out of then it returned around the age of 16-17 when i found myself unemployed i would try to gamble to make ends meet again on the fruit machines . Then came the break i landed a good job offshore and was making good money the desire to win money had gone . I continued in my new career and always strived to better myself working all the hours god sent to make a good life for myself with the addition of my daughter into the picture . Through my 20’s and well into my 30’s there was no thoughts to gamble . Fast forward into my late 30’s the introduction of online gambling into my life . Now i think this is where it all started to go wrong . No longer did i need to go to the bookies to fill out a football coupon for the saturday footy fixtures i could do it all on my phone tablet and laptop . What started as a laugh and joke watching the results come in on a saturday afternoon then watching the super sunday games live on sky with the lads over a few beers turned to the need to gamble and chase the losses from the weekend , there’s always the Monday night game then champions league Tuesday Wednesday Europa league comes Thursday hell there’s even a Friday night game for the English championship – Wait im now gambling 7 days a week on football and for every little win there had to be a loss prior to that . Now without even knowing it im fully addicted to betting on football – just pick the favourites right ? surely 2nd top playing 2nd bottom is a no brainer . In time the more you wage on a bet the the need to increase the wager to win more comes , when you win you win big !!! . Right so now im doing ok on the football sometimes lets see what this tennis betting is all about – now this is where things really started to go wrong . I worked abroad so when i was at home my time was my own to do as i wish until i return abroad maybe a few week home here and there great time with family and friends life is good – mmm no by this time i am gambling all day on tennis and football at night my life is now all about the gambling from the minute i wake up to the minute i fall asleep on the couch emotionally exhausted from the ups and downs of the days gambling . The thing with gambling is its not like alcohol or drugs where a visible deterioration in a person is easy to see for the people around you . You can and will easily hide your addiction from the people closest to you and they will never know or even suspect anything is wrong . Now comes the losing streak that then involves major financial problems . The new credit cards are being ordered along with the bank loans , nobody needs to know as long as you carry on a normal no one will suspect a thing . Now i am at a point where im scrapping about looking for payday loans as the credit cards are maxed and no will give me a bigger bankloan to clear all the debt . Everything that was once rosey is now dragging me down to the point its affecting my relationships with family and friends my work is suffering im under huge financial pressure on a monthly basis as my wages are now not enough to cover the all the cards the loans and the payday loans . I have already lost contact with my kids i don’t visit friends as that would mean not gambling . I lie to everyone that is close to me to cover up the mess i have found myself in . Then comes the bombshell i lose my job so now have no where to hide , im now living back at my parents as the house is gone the car is gone my life is gone . There’s a huge amount of debt 40k + bear in mind the last 2 years i have earned 100k+ where has it all gone , now comes the bankruptcy – this to me is a very scary time even the word bankruptcy scared me . So i seek help and withing 6 weeks im made bankrupt . So everything i have ever worked for is gone the relationship with my kids is gone i have retreated my self away from friends and family members to the point am virtually a recluse . Fast forward 12 months from the bankruptcy date , i have broken down 7 weeks prior to the date to be released and contacted Gordon Moody association i have been accepted on the waiting list . I am still gambling with all the money that comes my way but the stakes are much smaller but the depression and anxiety has grown to the point of not really living any kind of life . The bankruptcy date has now passed and i will be released after a final review i should be clear in the next 4 days . I am still on the waiting list for Gordon Moody and hope to attend in the next month . Any self respect i ever had is gone im at rock bottom and have been a for a very long time . My hope for the future is that i can attend Gordon Moody and get the treatment i need to live even a simple life gamble free . I feel a broken man from the happy go lucky guy to rock bottom in the space of a few years

I have access to money today but i have chosen to write this instead i really hope this is a turning point in my life

[Johnny B]

Bravo on taking the time to write in forums instead of gambling. The first step is to recognize the problem, the second is to do something about it. As you read other stories similar to yours you will see a lot of good suggestions from good people. Follow the advice. One thing we all admit, is that gambling is a powerful force that takes time to heal. If you stay away for awhile you will recognize the damage from a different point of view. Instead of wanting to gamble to win back your loses you will start to see progress that you have earned for yourself. Remember what brought you here. Don’t be afraid to let it go. You are not a bad person, you have an issue that all on gambling therapy can help you overcome!

[TTA]

Reading your post was almost as if I had wrote it. The progression of gambling that started from an early age was exactly the same as your journey. The only difference being is that I was playing slots online.

I myself eventually hit rock bottom about 7 months ago and finally opened up to my family about what was happening in my life. They have unconditionally supported as did my girlfriend for a good couple of years. I tried for a very long time to carry on and pay my debts but unfortunately had to admit defeat. I had to declare myself bankrupt a few months back and I totally agree that even the word was scary.

7 months ago when I was eventually honest with myself about who I was and what I had done I now realise was the day my life took a different course. Since that day I have been gamble free but the one thing I underestimated was the reality of the deverstaion it had caused.

My girlfriend and I now live apart and have a very uncertain future, I’m bankrupt and also have to move.

I too am on the waiting list for Gordon Moody and will hopefully be in within 8 weeks. Although I have stopped gambling for some months I have found facing up to the reality of the situation and not running back to the safe zone of gambling is very difficult.

In short, every part of your post I can relate to and believe me you’ve done fantastic to get where you are currently. Keep up the good work and hopefully like myself you will grab hold of the rare opportunity to change your life for the better by being accepted into the programme

[velvet]

Hello CW and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[i-did-it]

Hi CW
Well done on joining this site – you have recognised that you have a problem and are taking steps to recover from it . There is a great life to be had after gambling regardless of how shaky we feel at the start.
Keep posting and keep strong

[Author]

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