- This topic has 7 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 7 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
-
Hi. Thanksl for your good support. I gambled the 230 yesturday. I cant get a lend of anymore money. Thats it. My partner is not talking to me. I dont know what
is going to happen in our relationship. My partner wouldnt take control of my money. I have asked my partner to control my finances on several occasions but she refused..
I dont know what to do…..I’m in a really bad place. Last year I got myself a lifetime exclusion from paddy power but they still let me in to gamble. Its very sad that you fill out a form,
give ID and get a lifetime exclusion but they still let you gamble.I phoned paddy power to complain about this today. I know it will do no good but at least i cant gamble there anymore. I will sale the car on monday for 200-300 euro. What else can i do. The car needs repairs but i cant afford it. I will sale the car to dismentlers. It will be very hard to get to work because of the bus route around this area. I live in the country[laois]
and have to get a bus to next county.[kidare] 1 hr 30 min on the bus. When Im coming home the bus stops in portlaoise and there is no bus portlaois to mountmellick in the evening, what to do.
My partner has a car but will not help me. I think she had enough of my gambling…….Thanks to all for your kind words….It gives someone like me a bit of hope.
-
I don’t blame your partner for having enough of your gambling. Mine was having enough with my gambling or what he knew of it. I hid a lot of it until I couldn’t hide it any more. It kind of imploded on me. And then boy what a confession.
I guess the question is have YOU had enough of your gambling? I didn’t know whether my hubby would stay or go, but I knew I had had enough of my gambling too. No matter what he chose. That’s why I made the efforts I did. And actions will speak louder than words to your partner. GA meetings and having your head in them would be a good start. Anyone else in your family you trust that would help with your money? Do you have any idea what you owe and how you are going to pay it all? I went to a non profit credit counseling service for advice. It’s a lot to ask someone to take on so you need to know what you are asking them to do and be able to give them all your figures. And what about addictions counseling. This is tough to stop. You have to use as many tools as you can to stop. And stay stopped. Gambling causes too much chaos for us that are compulsive gamblers. The calm can start with one day. It’s good you came back.
Laura -
-
To clarify, I didn’t think you were blaming her but good to hear you aren’t! Sometimes people don’t want to be put in that position if they know they will always be saying no or be treated like the bad guy. Did you ever ask her why she wasn’t willing? What her reasons are. I asked my sister not to lend me any more money if I asked. Honestly I hoped I was too ashamed to ever ask again but I wanted to make sure she understood not to. I understand what it’s like to feel so terribly low, worthless, ashamed, run down, half crazy from lack of sleep and sick thoughts. It took a lot for me to stop. I had to run out of money. I was terribly in debt. No money for food. No money for heat for the house and winter coming. I live in Canada. You don’t coast through winter without heat. I was suicidal. I understand the shame of it all. But it’s an addiction. That is what I know. And beating an addiction is hard but it can be done. We are here to walk the journey with you. Put in place whatever you can and maybe when your partner sees you are serious you could talk to her again about the finances. Ask the counselor when you see them how you could maybe approach it. Where there is a will there is a way. All the time and effort you used to put into gambling, now put into a recovery. Day one.
I won’t lie and say you haven’t put yourself in an extremely tough place. And we pay a price. No two ways about it. But you can stop digging this hole and instead start working on getting yourself out.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (my addiction- I cannot and will never be able to gamble responsibly- it’s over it’s done)
Courage to changes the things I can (myself)
And the wisdom to know the difference.Laura
-
-
Good morning Stephen. I’m glad to read your post. You are here. Not out “there”. I pray that you ask for help where ever you can find it. Here is an article I found re gambling addiciton resources for people in Ireland. https://spunout.ie/opinion/article/gambling-addiction-resources-and-services
It has a couple links and organizations listed where you can go for help. If you need to reach out because you are having urges try to use the groups here if they are open, the helpline here which is open business hours, your local GA contacts, or the phone numbers provided. Post on the forum and hopefully someone is around to post with. You just need to get through today. If that is too much get through the next ten minutes. Then do something else for ten minutes. It is painful when the spinning stops and we face the music. But it can be faced. Thinking of you Stephen. You CAN do this.
laura
-
-
Most of the shamefull feelings are long gone. The odd time when money is tight (9 years in) I do think of what I’ve done in the past with a bit of shame. But I shake that off because my new life is nothing to be ashamed of. And ongoing recovery is something to be proud of. As is taking those first hard steps. Every journey starts with those first steps. Anything I can do to help support you is the least I can do! Take care, Laura
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.