[swoosh6]

Hello!

I’m taking the first steps to really come to realize that I have a gambling addiction. I am 48 years old, I have spent most of my husbands inheritance on gambling AFTER we have paid our debts off. We have promised

our 4 year old we would take him to Disney next year, and I don’t see how we will be able to if I keep gambling like this, and I don’t want to disappoint our son. I’ve done gambling online through an app, I buy scratch off

tickets to try and win, I work two jobs, and when I’m done with my second one, I use that cash to play slots on my way home to “make more” money then I did working, and I end up using my ATM card to withdrawl more money

and putting it back into the slots. It started getting to this point a few years ago when I won $10,000 on a scratch off and thought gee if I can win that much, I’ll win the million, needless to say I’m more like losing the millions

instead of winning them. I have people say they will help me to overcome this, but when the time comes and I call or text them, they aren’t available and I’m like screw it I’ll get it, because it could be “the one!” This month I am starting

to fall behind on the bills, because I’ve gotten so deep again, I want to stop it before it becomes out of hand. The gambling has gotten us bad credit, we can’t get any loans, credit cards, or a mortgage. We lost our first house of 20 years

because I don’t know how to handle the money to pay the bills first. I borrowed over $11,000 from my parents and paid them back but I don’t want them to know I have lost the money.

I don’t know what gives me the high, other than if I win more than $100 I start to spend on more tickets, hoping for that “bigger win” which never happens. I don’t know how to contain myself from going to the store and seeing the machine as

I exit, or being able to get cash back and buying a ticket or one with my card. I hate the way this has taken over my life, I hate that I don’t know how to save the money to take our son to Disney next year, I hate that the machines are so

easily available to me when I leave a store. Then when they came out with an online app, that was even worse, I won $250 the first time I tried and again, like the scratch offs, I kept paying and paying thinking I’m going to hit it big, which

never happens. Any feed back or help would be appreciated.

thanks for reading

[uncontrolled back]

Hi Swoosh,

Give up all access to your own money to your other half. I remember being embarrassed many moons ago, when I was so out of control, that everything I had I lost to gambling. I would gamble on anything and everything. The brain thinks, that surely a big win will come. IT NEVER WILL. because even if you won a million, you would think it is not enough.

I don’t want to sound harsh, but you have to admit you have no control and have no access to gambling sites, block yourself from all casinos etc etc. Give yourself the bare minimum each month to survive. I PROMISE, a point will come when your brain will start to heal subliminally. I get so much pleasure from all the things that money can never buy. Laughing with close friends, the sun on my face (although not much of that at the moment 🙂 !! All the very simplest things. I have a pug and take him for long walks, it gives me the time to just think and he always agree’s with me 🙂

The scratch cards will always tease you but you will never win. I beg you to stop. This is from someone who has gambled for the best part of 40 years and lost a lot of money. However I have come to appreciate what is important. Focus all your thoughts on your son and Disney. Imagine the days there and the sheer joy you could have……those memories are never lost, but gambling memories are hell on Earth.

You will be shocked how quickly your funds will recover, however bad thing seem. I know its hard to get perspective, as I have been the worlds worst gambling idiot !!!!!

Just take one day at a time and thing will get better.

Good Luck my friend

[lizbeth4]

Welcome to GT! Can you give the finances and bill paying over to your Husband? I know it’s hard to give up that control but would be better so you can get your finances straighten out. Maybe GA or the chat groups here would be beneficial also. Our minds keep telling us to chase the win. But we always keep losing. We never walk away with our wins. Keep posting! Stay strong!

[danzo]

I too have a scratch off addiction. I spend every bit of cash I have on them. Other than tickets, I am very frugal on everything else. I just can’t seem to stop either. At least you are not alone

[charles]

Hi Danzo. If you scroll to the bottom of the forum and clcik on “New Topic” you can start your own thread.

Swoosh, you are already getting good advice. delte that App, get aq blocker for your devices so that you can’t visit gambling sites.

When you go to that 2nd job don’t have your cards on you – simple. Can they pay you by cheque rather than cash? If not then buy yourself a small cash time, one with a slot in. Put your wages in there and leave the key at home, with huisband.

Accountability helps – if you do get paid in cash then your husband should expect to see that cash.

What other support can you use? Keep posting here of course but are there GA meetings in your area?

Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.

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