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Good afternoon all, I attended my 1st GA meeting last night so I have taken the first step to get myself to stop gambling. Unfortunately it has taken me too long to get to these meetings and I am now in the position where my husband wants to leave our marriage because of my gambling. He has said he will stay for 6 months to allow me to pay off some of my debts as he says he loves me too much to leave me when I cant afford to look after myself. I am in pieces and I know that each day that passes is just another day closer to losing him. Does anyone have any advice or tips to help me get through this difficult time in my life? I am desperately trying to stay strong and be a better person but in all honesty I just want to give up…
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Hi Becca, sorry to hear the state this gambling addiction has left you in. I have been in nearly the same position. And find myself keeping secrets once again. I am asking the following question, do you want to stop gambling? For yourself, for you own health and sanity? If your husband leaves do you see yourself as a gambler or a gambler in recovery?
Six months can be a long time for a CG. You will be surprised at the changes that can take place one day at a time. If you get through today without a bet and work on yourself and your recovery, then you just repeat! Maybe if he sees you have really honestly worked on it his decision will change. But if it doesn’t you will be stronger and in a better place to live a gamble free life.
Try using all the tools you can. GA, this place, some sort of counselling, and having someone handle all of your income so that you can’t just gamble it. If you are in the UK and it would be an option, the link Harry shared sounds bang on to what a lot of women need.
Don’t lose all hope Becca. It can be done, one day at time.take care,
Laura -
Hi Becca, well done on looking for help.
You need to stop gambling for YOU. Th emost important thing now is to keep using the support that you have reached out to. Keep going to your meetigns, keep posting here. It is an old saying – actions speak louder than words, what actions can you take? What barriers can you put in place?
Like Harry I expect that your husband will have heard all the words and promises before. It is the actions you take now that will help you stop gambling.
Take those actions and who knows what will happen in 6 months. I have a friend who’s wife packed her bags and left him 7 years ago, they now have a 5 year old child. Having said that please don’t raise your hopes or act solely on some hope that he might stay, he might but he might not. As I said, you need to stop gambling for YOU. Then you will be bettter placed for whatever the future holds.
Keep reading, keep posting.
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