[Monkeycf]

I had 3 wonderful years of recovery, I have had 3 months of torture now.

I convinced myself it would be ok for me to invest in crypto, I wasn’t, I lost half my savings overnight when the price dipped.

My brain couldn’t cope and I withdrew what I had left, someone told me about crypto casinos, I had excluded from all UK based ones this had been my security blanket, I had got to a point where I could accept I couldn’t gamble and I had taken away the means to gamble.

That first bet, it was like I had never stopped I won I lost I won I lost.

I have now blown my savings, I can be ok financially if I can get to that feeling I was at when I stopped last time.

I need to remember the following:

1. One day at a time
2. The addiction will always be there
3. I have to talk to members in GA more
4. I need to accept the money is gone
5. I need to find a face to face GA meeting
6. I need to not be complacent
7. I need to be grateful for the things I have like my Heath, my family and my children
8. I need to start talking to my my higher power again
9. I need to to deal with the emotional problems I am having and not run/hide from them
10. I need to be honest

I will be keeping this diary updated, I want 90 days but only concentrating one day at a time.

It’s ok to fall down, it nots ok to not get back up, I want serenity again, I want peace, I want myself back.

Just for today I won’t gamble

[velvet]

Hello Monkeycf and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ?

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Monkeycf]

Day 2

Feeling slightly more positive today, had a 4 hour GA meeting on zoom yesterday and then another one after, it’s the medicine I need.

Going for another meeting today and then an in person meeting with a fellowship I know well tomorrow.

One day at a time

[veilvance]

Hey thanks for writing!

[Author]

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