[MilkTrayMan]

Hi guys,

I’ve finally started beating my gambling addiction and have been free now for a few weeks (an eternity for a problem gambler) – and thought I would share some tips with you all which helped me.

1) Self exclusion

I’m sure most of you know that self-exclusion doesn’t work – there is an endless supply of websites always happy to have you sign up and start playing immediately, many of these are driven by affiliate schemes.

That said, occasionally you will find yourself in a clear state of mind where you are able to see your problem for what it is – it is this state of mind that is temporary but in which you would normally self-exlude… What I did at this point was to actually go around signing up for as many online-casino’s as I could (without providing card details) and immediately self-exclude for 5yrs, dropping their customer service teams emails if necessary asking for this and to include partner websites. This put up a huge barrier to entry for next time, and combined with the following tips has made it easier to stop.

2) Except…

I left one casino account open – and set a daily deposit limit of £20. if you’re like me, you know that the compulsion to gamble is short term, you won’t find yourself increasing this limit because it takes 24hrs to come into effect and you know this is pointless.

Why did I leave this channel open? – because part of the addiction is the comfort in knowing that you COULD be better off today than you were yesterday, to know that you COULD win some money and pay off some debt.

£20 is not much – but it gives me a chance to win.. I treat it like a lottery ticket.. sometimes I use it have a few £5 spins, sometimes I do smaller bets (although I try to avoid this as it uses up a lot of time). More recently, I find that I don’t use it at all, it just helped knowing it was there.

3) Hobbies / Distraction

For me this is another piece in the puzzle, albeit a small one.

If you aren’t doing something fitness related already – start tomorrow. For me that was Brazilian Jiu Jitsu – a sport which drives fitness, discipline, provides a great outlet and gives you something else to focus on. Going for the first time is incredibly daunting but it gets easier and easier, time I used to spend gaming can now be spent on youtube trying to learn new techniques and improve my game.

4) Debt sucks but it can be sorted

It’s not nice having large debts – but remember, many ‘illnesses’ can cause irreparable damage to your body and mind and leave permanent scars. Debt is a number which you can reduce each month, it’s a scar you can heal – but lowing it with winnings does not heal anything and does not make you feel better. You can never win enough, so you won’t win anything.

5) History

This for me is the big one – I took some time out of my usual day-to-day worries and learned a bit about history. If you start viewing your life in a historic context, you can see that actually your life is amazing. To live in the modern western age is an incredible gift, and once you start to appreciate the hardships people have endured in the past – suddenly not gambling seems like a much smaller problem.

6) Why are you quitting?

“A man with a why can endure any how” – what is your why?

7) Token

This is going to sound silly – but I took a token ( a lucky coin in this case) and promised it I would not relapse, I consider it like a conscience and I carry it with me at all times – I found that when I was browsing for a new casino (because I’d made it so difficult for myself by excluding from so many) that the coin seemed to burn in my pocket – I knew it was there, reminding me what I promised – so I stopped looking.

8) Stories / fables

I like to think about stories which align closely with what gambling is all about – a good example is Pinocchio.

He’s told he doesn’t have to work hard in life – and is instead sold on the idea of pleasure island, a place where compulsive pleasure is always available on-demand, it’s full of flashing lights – loud noises and excitement. For those who have seen the story – you’ll know that what happens next – he becomes like a farm animal, enslaved for somebody else’s purpose.. and to escape this fate he has to suffer and work hard to undo the suffering that his loved ones had to endure as a result of his actions. Sound familiar?

When you see jackpots / recent winners etc.. these are carrots held up above your head. You will never reach them, and in believing you can or trying – you allow your personality and mind to be eroded away.

So in a nutshell;
– Exclude like a boss
– Leave one micro-channel open and try not to use it (if this works for you)
– Take up some new hobbies, get fit
– Learn about history – understand your plight in context
– Make a plan to pay debts, and relax about it
– Remember why you’re quitting
– Find a token and promise it you will not relapse
– Consider stories from the past and what you can learn from them

Thanks everyone 🙂

[Anonymous]

Hi Milktrayman

It’s nice of you to share what you consider to be working for you.

Personally I wouldn’t be recommending on a therapy website that compulsive gamblers leave a gambling account open. If you find self exclusion dosn’t work for you, why not invest in blocking software for your devices?

It’s quite obvious that you’re pleased with your new lifestyle and great that you want to share, however I would think that leaving the door open to gambling is fraught with danger, for any compulsive gambler. Even with a small deposit limit (mind you £20/day is still £140 a week so not that small).

The reason most of us use this sort of site is that we’ve allowed gambling to cause havoc in our own lives and the lives of the people who love us and anybody else that comes into our lives. Most of us have admitted that we are powerless against the addiction, we can not control it and therefore we must cut it out of our lives completely.

There are no rules, no strict regimes to follow, we all have to find our own road to recovery for some it comes easier than others, but I’ve never seen a recovery that could be classed as “plain sailing”

I do understand completely where you’re coming from and long may your gamble free time continue. I’m afraid that I won’t be adapting any of your tips in to my own recovery, and to be honest I doubt many will.

Most of us have tried making an honest commitment not to gamble, usually to a parent, partner, child or another person with in an interest in our wellbeing. And ended up sooner or later breaking that commitment. If I were to make a comttment to a token, especially a “lucky” coin, I’m sure the people in my life would feel as if I valued this token higher than them.

Anyway milktrayman, if you’re happy with what you’re doing, and it seems as if you are, then that’s great for you.

If you ever decide that actually you’d like to kick gambling completely into touch then this website is a great place to start.

Take care.

Geordie.

[velvet]

Hello Milktrayman and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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