Hi Staystrong – you wrote: “Hi Steev,

I read your post/comment and am lookig for help. Long story short I have been gambling for only one year. Despite it only being a year I know I’ve been completely consumed by online blackjack and sportsbetting. My wife and family recognize this and I know it too. Recently I sufferred a big loss and broke down to my wife. The problem is that even with that loss I am still in the positive on gambling. Part of me thinks that I am lucky for that and to get out while still ahead as reading some people’s posts show me how fortunate of a position i am in. However another part just won’t let these thoughts about gambling die down. Even though big picture I am up, I can’t help but feel like I’m down after my recent loss and I just want to get it back before stopping. another part of me just wants to go back to the fun/recreational way of gambling which is how it was when i first started. Reading these forums I know that most likely I wont be able to just go the recreational way and that it would be a gateway towards the all consuming gambling that i had been doing and that if that contnued, i can end up in a similarly unfortunate position as many others on this forum. However, its been about three weeks since that loss and i have gambled and i I just can’t seem to kick these thoughts and the feeling that I am down (even though I’m not) or that I will be able to restart and control myself this time. Any advice would be appreciated.”

If you have read threads on this forum, you will see time after time there are posts from people saying they have stopped – only to relapse after thoughts about gambling have turned into action.
You do not have to act on your thoughts!
The first line of defense is to put barriers in the way of actually gambling – they may not stop you but it will give you time to think.
The next thing is to realise and admit that you are here for a reason. You are a problem gambler. For us there is no “fun/recreational way of gambling” just as someone with an alcohol problem cannot have a fun drink. You may be able to do so a few times, but eventually the brain will think this is normal behaviour and you will be dragged down to betting, losing and then chasing losses. Read the (probably) hundreds of posts on here that will confirm that.
So advice … notice the thoughts and then ignore them. You are not your thoughts – you don’t have to act on them.
Think of yourself as a non-gambler. If people suggest you should gamble with them or go to gambling venues, just say you don’t gamble. You don’t have to explain yourself.
If you can, find yourself someone to talk this through with. A counsellor – this can be free in the UK – through Gamcare – or check with your health profesional. They might be able to offer other strategies to cope with the urges.
As for relapsing – I wrote a 10 point plan of reasons not to chase losses which is in the Recovery Tools part of the forum.
Rather than reposting that here – I suggest you take a look, I see you have posted a reply to another thread there recently.
I think the key is to get as much support as possible and to take this behaviour seriously. It is easy to think that one small bet won’t matter, but we all know it will not stop at that. You can stop gambling – I have been stopped for over 10 years, I know of others who have stopped for over 20. It does get easier the longer you are GF. Remember you can stop for one day at a time and let the days stack up. I wish you well.