Hi all,
I’m not sure why I’m writing this post – we all have dreadful stories, I suppose this is just an outlet.

I have joined Gamstop and can’t stop thinking about gambline online. It feels like I’ve come out of a longterm relationship. I know it sounds pathetic but gambling was THE most important thing in my life – it was a constant.

I have been a compulsive gambler for more than 20 years. It started with fruit machines, then betting shops and for the last few years – online casinos. My addiction became so bad, I made a serious attempt at suicide in July this year. It wasnt a cry for help, I had researched what I needed to do and didnt tell anyone. I failed.

I don’t know why I gambled, I still dont. I used to tell myself it was about the money, however in hindsight I dont think it was. I had great wins, £20,000 every few months wasn’t uncommon. I NEVER cashed out these sums, perhaps a couple of thousand every now and then but that soon went back in.

Everytime I got paid I would tell myself I was going to spend my ‘spare’ money at the casino, however even when I won, I never took the money and if I did it would be gone again as quickly as I got it.

In June of this year, I lost everything….again. I added thousands of pounds to my Fiance’s credit card, maxed it out and had no way of winning the money back. I kept this a secret, I stole it.

I carefully researched how to kill myself, bought what I needed and tried. I obviously failed, however I spent a few weeks in a mental health hospital, came out and spent time with family. I am know on the road to recovery – the first thing I did was join Gamstop. It is in my opinion the greatest thing in the world.

I broke up with my Fiancee for a while, however we are now working things out and I’m doing everything I can to pay the money back. I understand that not everyone is going to be as fortunate as me to have such an amazing support network. We all have each other though – nobody can understand what we are going through despite them wanting to.

I suppose the point of this post, is in fact to say that even when you are at rock bottom and see no way out – things can get better. It’s hard, it’s frustrating, it’s sad and it can and probably will be lonely. I live in hope that next year or the year after I’ll be able to look back on this and see it as a lesson, albeit it an emotionally and financially expensive one. I really hope that in the future I can be in a position to help others because the online gambling problem is only going to get worse and worse.

Good luck to everyone on their journey.

Pete