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Today, at 23 years old, gambling has ruined my entire life to this point. I wasn’t brought up in a bad situation, my family gave me every chance that is possible to give someone so that they could start a great life. I haven’t been in a toxic relationship by any means, I’ve had the best person in the world as mine for the past 7 years. My fiancée hasn’t known how bad my addiction was until today, two months before what was supposed to be our wedding. We have been talking about joining our savings accounts for a while now and at one point I was ready to do that. A few months went by from when we first talked about having a joint account and she asked if we could go to bank and get it done. I then had to tell her that I haven’t been saving any more money for a while had lost most of everything I had saved to gambling and that I’ve been lying to her about my savings. My mind gives me every excuse possible to cope with the gambling and has me believing that I can make back the money I lost either from gambling or the new job that I am supposed to start soon. Me and my fiancée are not speaking right now, I’m not even sure if she still is my fiancée at this point or if I’m ever going to be with her again. But I know that even if we stay together, that I have ruined every bit of trust that I’ve built with her for the last 7 years. I know that when my parents and family find out about this that they will all look at me different and that I will have ruined some of the trust that they have in me as well. I’m not sure why I am writing this or who I am going to share it with, but I thought that maybe getting it all out there will help me realize the extent of the problems that I have caused and help me realize that I do need to get help. Maybe this will be something that I am able to look back on some day and see how far I’ve come.
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Hi Jakeski – it seems like you have taken the first step to realising you have a problem – i.e. admitted to someone that the problem exists.
Obviously your gambling is affecting your relationship – but I have to ask, do you want to stop? If so, then there is advice that we can give you, but it will have to be done by you – and it will not be easy …
Your fiancee may wish to look at the friends and families forum on here and decide if she wants support for herself. Both of you working on the problem might be powerful when things get difficult, but that will be a decision for her. I will leave it there for now. I am sure you have read other posts on the forum and know what practical measures to take – but I think you have to answer the question above first.
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Hello I think you still have a chance with her. It’s up to you. Start building your trust up. Perhaps have her handle the money/banking. Be open to her suggestions as well. With acknowledgement comes
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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