Hello Jack and thank you for posting here. You sound pretty desperate and I think it is important that you reach out to someone. There is Befrienders .org who will have the helpline number near you – and they in turn may know of organisations local to you that can help. You can also speak to people on a 1-2-1 here. If you read around the site – you will be able to see the practical things you need to do to stop gambling – banning yourself from gambling sites, restricting time and finances – but I think the thing you need is to feel you are not alone with this. We gamblers tend to be solitary people. Whether it is on-line or even in a casino – we prefer to just be with the machine or the event – rather than having to interact. But in order to recover, we need to reach out.

You managed to stop on your own for 12 months and that is a great achievement, but staying stopped is what you want and I think that means looking at what is pulling you back to gambling time and time again. GA will help by hearing other people’s stories and feeling part of the community of recovering gamblers. Counselling, through your medic or via a local gambling help organisation (again befrienders may help with this) or finding some other non-judging, supportive group perhaps through another interest.

You will need to tell your wife at some point. It might be as well to get some support before you do this as it will be painful for both of you. She can get support from the friends and families forum here – and there are group sessions on-line here. Also GAMANON is often available for relatives alongside GA meetings. Please talk to someone as soon as you can and unburden yourself. It would be great to hear how you are doing, either by posting here again or seeing you in one of the on-line groups. I wish you well.

Hello Jack and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

What did you do to help you quit gambling for a year? There are a lot of tools for us to use to help us with this addiction, GA, counseling, banning, blockers, ect… Unfortunately, you will probably have to tell your Wife at some point.
I think from experience, is when I figured out what my triggers were and what I was escaping from, I was able to get a grip on my addiction and I really wanted to work recovery.
It is never too late to stop gambling. You can do It!

Hi Jack
When family members are told that their loved one has relapsed, they are generally devastated but they are also very lonely – lack of understanding is truly understandable.
I don’t know if your wife sought support for herself in the past but there is good support there for her if she wants it. On this site we offer the Friends and Family forum and also the two closed Friends and Family groups. Your wife would be very welcome in the groups Jack, nothing said in the groups appears on the forum so it is private and safe. Her fears and confusion will be understood.
Gam-Anon is the sister group of GA and is a place where your wife can get on the ground comfort – I think it is wonderful.
Honesty now is the best way forward for your wife – she will be frightened and confused, she may well explode or implode with anger – it will be devastating for her because it is out of her control. I suggest that you talk calmly and without making any more promises.
Knowledge of the addiction to gamble is key to all of us, gambler and family member, alike.
There is more than a glimmer of hope. I wouldn’t be writing to you if I didn’t know that you can control your addiction and be the man you – and your wife, want you to be. Your wife cannot save you, only you can do that but a gamble-free life is within your grasp.
I wish you well
Velvet