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Hello!
36 year old male.
I started gambling online at age 28-29 to gain money. I’m a sports fan so it was natural for me…
I live an extremly closed life so i can tell with confidence that that is my only thing wich giving me adrenalin rush, positive (and negatív) feeling.
So when i gambling i feel that this is one of the few good things in my life.
I have lost all money wich i collected during my adult working life. So i have no money house or car.
I have currenty a reasonably good job for 6 months. Befora i was 10 yoears in an other place. But i lost all the money so i just waiting for the next payday to play again..this time winnig.
I know that is will not happen i’m a good gambler but sometimes i can not controll what i doing and my negative emotions getting the better of me…and i lose…all of my gaining and what is in my bank account.
If i stop, there is only my job will remain what can be a positive source. I did not feel that i missing anything when i gambling.. Friends and family..never was a positive thing in my life.
I dont see how can i be happy.. I did not left anything for gambling…honestly saying all of my gambling hours gave my more joy than anything else in my life.
So i can not see that if i stop and i can return to a gambling free life will be a better one for me.
The option to get better in gambling and win money has a higher succes rate in my mind than not gambling and collecting the x amount of money wich i can earn with work.
Yes i have lost money wich would be enough for a “half” house.
And i know that if i working without betting for my 45 birthday i can collect money wich maybe can be a base for a “normal “life…
I guess i have to decide…
Doing this staff more and more and wait for the lucky break.
Or stop gambling…
I can stop today if i want. Honestly i can.
But i did not see that all my negativity in my life will give a better situation that the adrenalin rush and the positive feedback (the illusion of that…) when i gambling.
And i see (still see) a realistic chance that i can be a succesfull gambler.
I know that my problem is not betting i have much more staff to work around than a simple gambling addiction (don’t get me wrong this issue is serious enough)..
This is only symptom of more deeper problems with my personality…
Sorry if what i wrote did not make sense and confusing…
I and my life did not make sense..
And i’m confused.
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I’m not sure if you are saying you need to stop gambling or not. Don’t get me wrong, I think you need to stop but I am not sure you believe it.
You imply that your gambling is a symptom on a wider, personality problem. That may be true, but gambling isn’t going to help you to deal with that. Neither is leading a closed life. You do need to open up, to a group or trusted individual, preferably face to face. Someone local, who knows what help is available in your area would be good.
Come back when you can hopefully clearer and maybe get more targeted help.
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
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Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
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And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
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