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Hi, My name is Chelsea and I have realised that I have a gambling problem and it has ruined my life. So my father had a gambling addiction when I was growing up and it ruined my mum’s and us kids lives. We always had no money and he gambled away money saved for holidays, parties and presents. This lead to me resenting my dad growing up that my mum wouldn’t eat because she couldn’t afford to because he gambled his wages away. Never ever ever did I think that i would become that man I had always resented. I have a gambling addiction that is ruining my life and pushing me to the brink of suicide. I feel embarrassed to even admit to it to anyone because of how much I hated my dad’s gambling. I feel lost and I feel like my life has spiralled into a place that I cannot escape from. So before tonight I hadn’t gambled for a week. I downloaded an app, Casumo, that I thought I closed. I thought let’s just try and win back that last 50 i spent on another gambling site. So I put in a tenner promising myself that it would be it. No more even if it goes. Then I just keep depositing trying to recoup what I put in today. This leads me to losing my entire wages which then I email the customer support to close my account and literally begging the man to let me pay this back over a couple of months because otherwise I will have to take out a payday loan to cover what I have spent. Which they refuse to do, which I cannot be angry at because I stupidly bet it. It is my fault and I am the only one to blame. I am aware of this so let’s not kick a girl when she is proper down please. I have a beautiful and amazing fiancee who I love more than life and to think that I have let her down after knowing the tough time she is having. Her mum has just had skin cancer again, she lost her nan and her brother has servere bipolar that has flared up again and she has depression. I feel like the literal worst person in the world right now. We live apart with our parents and are meant to be saving for a mortgage to finally live together. I just feel like a monster who is not only destroying my own life but hers and she doesn’t deserve it or me at all. I have been brought to the brink of suicide today driving home and thinking maybe I should just drive into the central reservation and end all this. Leave her to get on with her life and not have to deal with someone who is going to drag her down further than I already have. I am so sorry for the actual essay but I have no one to turn to in my actual life. Anyone to talk to would be appreciated! Xx
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Hello Chelsea and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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Hi echo
You are not alone – there are many of us on here who struggle with this addiction . Well done for seeking help.
I too have a parent who gambled away lots of things – and I didn’t think I would repeat the cycle.
You can stop gambling . Barriers would help you like a gambling blocker on your phone or cutting up cards you use to gamble.
For me I have to make it impossible for me to gamble .
There is also GAMSTOP which you can sign up to.I hope this helps – you can have a great future – and you will make many friends on here .
Keep strong -
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Hi echo, Welcome to GT. We are all here to support each other. I have many gamblers in my family who don’t think they have a problem. I do! Put all barriers up! Keep posting. Stay strong.
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