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Gambling has ruined my life for so many years. The compulsion always gets the better of me. If I could stop I think I woukd be OK but the stress it’s causing me is making it hard to get through day 2 day. I’ve got a phone bill to pay so I gambled that money today and lost which is more stress. The phone I got I had to sell to finance other bills. Its just one thing after another. Honestly I can’t even remember the last time I was happy and I know that’s not just the gambling but its almost like that in a way has sucked the happy go lucky person I once was. If I could stop for just 2 months that would put me back on the right track totally. But so far that hasn’t happened. Its effecting other people who are having to help me which is adding more guilt to myself. The mobile phone bill will be a week late which is the big issue right now. I guess one week won’t matter. Its just if I fuck up again it’ll be more debt and its getting to a point its harder to get out. Thank god for the help I get. It’s the chasing losses thing that messes me up or my inability to stop when I’m up. But honestly I just want to bet say 5 pound a week or 10 max on football and it be no issue to me. Deep down I know I’m a good person but every time I lose hundreds of pounds I feel like I’m a total scumbag. I think alcohol might be a fact to it too. I have so much stress I’ll drink to release some problems then like last week I lose all inabition and rational thinking and bet like a mad man despite me having won a nice bit well obviously I bet it all. When I see homeless people and dogs charity’s I could give that money I waste too I honesty think I am a horrible person. My grandad used to bet allot and I do believe he now never bets a penny or maybe a horse every now n then so I guess it’s possible to stop. Although I don’t think he was a bet every penny he had type of guy. I appreciate all feedback.
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Hi Jdawgg and thanks for sharing your story. You are not a scum bag! you are someone who has an addiction. Like anyone who has an addiction you can rehabilitate yourself. Usually with a lot of help and a lot of measures. We are not addicted to the actually money itself (although we do fantasize about what we will do with it in the beginning) we are addicted to the high we get when we win. That part of our brain that lights up and releases feel good chemicals responds to the win. Not the wad of money or numbers on the screen that we are so quick to gamble back.
If you really want to stop there are measures you can take. Like maybe stop looking for bailouts. I told my one sister that I would always go to for a loan that I was a gambling addict and I didn’t want her to lend me any more money. Drastic but I didn’t want her to feed my addiction or enable me. I also asked someone to take care of my money for me for a while. I was given a daily or so allowance. Again, this helped to make sure I didn’t have the money to feed my addiction. I guess what I would say to you is look at what/ how you gamble and what measures you can put in place to stop yourself from gambling. Do you gamble online? What country are you from? Different places and ways of gambling have different ways to you can use to stop your access. I hope you seriously look at stopping this forever. Keep posting. Spending time with people in recovery can help. Take care,
Laura -
HiJdawgg,
Well done on looking for help. Read the other stories here; you will see a lot that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
By success you will see that i don’t mean being able to just bet small amounts each week – if we were able to do that then to be blunt we wouldn’t be in the chit in the first place.
The nature of the addiction is that we chase losses and no win is big enough. With that combo the only way to success is to stop gambling, one day at a time.
Keep posting.
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