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I’m day 7 after a 2 month run during which I lost well over $100k. I had been “clean”for about 10 months before. Before that I hid my gambling problem for over a year and lost over $100k then as well. I admitted it the first time, this time I got caught after lying to multiple people, multiple times over the last 2 months. I would have kept going, probably until I maxed out every possible avenue for money. I also lied, and would have said anything to avoid getting caught. I played at work, stayed late after work, when I went to the bathroom (which had become pretty frequent), while driving, and any other time I could be alone. My wife told me the first time around that she wouldn’t be here if I did it again. We had twin girls 2 months ago, in addition to our 2 year old boy. Thankfully she decided to stay, and she wants me to get help, intensive therapy. In fact, after researching, she had come to the conclusion that my only option is a 28 day inpatient program. I’m willing to do whatever I have to in order to get help, but I’m reluctant to be away from my family for a month. I am a physician, and it would be very difficult for me to be off for that long. It’s there any more flexible treatment that I could pursue? Any online therapy or telemedicine programs that anyone knows about? I’m starting from scratch and have never had any experience with this before. I tried abstinence the first time around with a little oversight, but I figured out a way to gamble and hide it, so I know that alone won’t work for me. I’m planning on attending GA, but there are no therapists or psychiatrists within less than a 3 hour drive that specialize in gambling addiction. Any advice is much appreciated!
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Be positive, keep busy, recognise your triggers, remember the pain this addiction causes, you never win…..
Lets all beat this ….together
Good luck in your recovery, i am right right behind you
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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Hi Jaerd,
Well done on looking for help. There is a lot of support available to you. Read the other stories here and you will see the sort of things that have helped others – apply them to your own situation.
You don’t want to spend those 28 days away from your family…..your addiction won’t want you to get that help either. From what you say you have spent plenty of time ( after work, frequent toilet trips and more) away from family time due to gambling. Residential treatment isn’t the only answer though, get to those GA meetings, keep posting here, get to the groups here as well.
It sounds like you had some barriers in place previously but found a way around them? Then build those barriers higher, be honest with your wife about how you circumvented them before.
Show youyr wife this site as well – there is a Friends and Family Forum and Groups where she can get support as well.
There is an old saying – actions speak louder than words. This is particularly true when family etc have heard the words before! The actions that will help you stop gambling are the same actions that might help with rebuilding trust etc.
Keep posting.
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Hi Jaerd,
I agree with what Charles has said.
Gambling takes us away from our family so much – time spent gambling as we lose track of time .
…then are we really present for our families when our minds are going over wins and losses, adding and subtracting , mentally moving money about to cover our tracks? Do we retreat from family into our own headspace?Lots of people must leave their family for a month to earn a better life for them?
That’s what you you too would be doing …leaving for a month to earn a better life for your family.
It’s a great opportunity!However as Charles says there is lots of other support available . I think for us with this addiction the hardest thing is to close every door tight …leave none slightly ajar for example a card no one knows about.
Keep working at it Gaerd – one day at a time .
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