Hi Everyone
I was a regular visitor on this site many years ago and utilised resources here during my desperate battle to loosen myself from the shackles of gambling addiction.
I can proudly say I have crossed the 5 year mark having ceased all activity on December 17th 2011.
I’m not here to gloat or be self congratulatory, but I though this might be a nice chance to share some thoughts on how I got past it so maybe something here can help you.
Leading up to 17-2-11, I had spend probably 5 or 6 years making major efforts trying to quit, but because of self blame, anger, and feeling the victim I just never got past it. One day of conviction to quit turned into the next day or week with conviction to gamble. There is no doubt gambling is a habit and all the emotions that go with it are self perpetuating.
One thing that I did near the end that I felt helped me initially quit and stay quit was to also be in the moment every time I lost. Rather than be angry at myself, fearful, or feeling a victim, I instead just looked at myself and said “see here you are again”. I would then of course quite and relapse, but every time I relapsed and lost a lot of money I would step outside of myself and say it again “see here you are again”. It was a way to say to myself that no matter what I tried to do, not matter how I played, the end result was always the same. I basically created the habit of planting that thought in my mind. I think after some time of doing this the message began to sink in, the breaks were longer, until I ultimate stopped.
No how have I stayed stopped?. Well, that constant reminder of powerlessness and knowing the same result has been able to keep me quit. I also have tried to replace that obsession with a couple of other (more healthy) obsessions that have given me enough excitement in my life to not need to go back. Don’t deny who you are, if you are a bit obsessive about things, then pick something else to fill the void, don’t deny who you are.
Secondly, I have focussed on some longer term goals just to keep me motivated. I think everyone has a couple of things they want to do longer term – keep reminding yourself of that.
Lastly, never lose site of the fact that you are a gambling addict. Gambling itself is not the addiction, but the type of activity is. While the guilt, fear and self loathing do slowly wash away with time and building yourself back up, it only takes one bet for you to be back in the there again so keep your guard up. Every time there is a temptation, remind yourself of how you felt when you said “see here you are again”. I lived that pain for more than 20 years, and that is a closed chapter of my life.
Good luck and I wish you all well.
Buzzie