Vera, your post reminded me that I heard a commercial on the radio to stop drinking forever.  I don’t drink but I thought about ordering because I agree there are a lot of similar traits between addicts…besides that alcoholics can’t keep promises. I think this weekend I’ll put at least an hour a day either reading or studying some of the self help stuff I have and never used.
Tomorrow is the start of a new month.  30 days…one day at a time…I’m so glad I’m not doing this alone.If you want to know your past; look into your present conditions.If you want to know your future; look into your present actions.~Roy Mathews

I was thinking of starting a new thread for the new year and then I thought about only posting on Vera’s monthly pact so thought I’d just close my other threads but when I got to this one I started reading and a flood of memories came back. I see I didn’t post in November or December of 2010.  I must have gambled some but I really can’t remember so I thought I’d just pick up from there.  I can say that this November and December 2011 was gamble free!
When I turned 50 years old I swore and promissed myself not to gamble.  Well 5 years later I’m wishing I had all that money back that shouldn’t have been wasted in a slot machine.  Of course I can’t go back and change that 5 years but I did make major changes during that time.  I didn’t gamble every weekend and I had months of not gambling. All my debts were paid and I finally had money in a savings account.  It seems like my recovery has been a process that’s getting stronger all the time. If I knew how long it would take to get where I am now, I don’t think I would have had the patience to stick with it so I’m glad I can’t see into the future!
I had a choice to draw an early pension from a prior job at age 55 and I am pleased to say I haven’t gambled once since I got that first check.  I don’t see the money because it goes directly into a savings account.  I’m finally at a point in my life where gambling isn’t consuming my thoughts and plans every weekend and every holiday.  I can only thank God for where I am because I could not do it myself.
Here we are 2012.  It’s going to be a great year!

Talk about the past!  I had a nightmare that I was working the night shift at the factory I used to work at. I hated that job but it was good money/benefits so I stuck it out while raising my kids.  Anyway, I dreamt I was going to work in that loud, dirty and freezing factory and the work was so hard and heavy I didn’t think I could do it.  I woke up so relieved that I didn’t work there and I had a good job to go to instead. Made going to work a lot easier today!
I’m able to draw my pension from that factory job (just got my 3rd check).  It was hard earned and I know I don’t want to waste a penny of it.  I know how quickly gambling sucks up money.  I’m not letting the past lessons go to waste. Gambling isn’t an option anymore. That check arrived (actually was direct deposit) the same day as my dream so I think it was to keep me thankful and I am!  Every dollar earned is worth too much to throw away in a slot machine.