firstly i would like to thank everyone who have talked me in chat rooms. I am a compulsive gambler its been 6 days since i last gambled. ive never really been in control of my life since the age of 16 i have had 3 marriages all of which i was controlled by my husbands.first marriage lasted 7 years a lot of beatings and 2 children suicide attempts found the guts to leave him then another marriage as soon as divorce was finalized another controlled marriage and yet more beatings and another child was with him for 18 years then he died. then came number 3 married for 7 years this one was more mental controlling he would threaten to kill me if ever i tried to leave him he used a industrial stapler on my body and laugh when i cried.one day i took overdose and he said i tried to leave him by dying so he beat me up.That was the final straw for me i was having counsilling at the time after having a breakdown and i got the courage to leave him whilst he was having his afternoon nap.it felt strange at first being in control of my life and then the gambling started online bingo at first then the mini game slots they put right in front of you so you are playing bingo and slots at the same time.it was fun at first then i noticed i was spending all my time and money online gambling it got out of control i was taking laptop to bed and napping inbetween games i would even play as soon as i woke in the morning before even having a cuppa.i was so close to being overdrawn lucky i do online banking it made me feel sick to see how much my bank account had gone down i dreaded looking sometimes for fear of being overdrawn.im sorry im babbling on i could write a book so i will cut it short now.last frieday i decided enough was enough felt so sick with all the money i had spent i have been gambling for about 18 month and i thought i was in control but it was controlling me im sick of my life being controlled so this is my new life finally im going to be in control for once in my life i have closed all my online accounts put betfilter on laptop and another filter on computer. i am disabled so do not go out much only on good days and only online gambling bothered me so hopefully i will beat this awful addiction and live a new life.thank you for reading this my life story hope i havenot bored you all take care regards jeanlifes to short