I’m done with gambling. After 10 plus years you’d think i’d learnt my lesson by now.I am 47 years old and I’ve lost a home,two cars (finally managed to pay off my latest vehicle)-could have done it sooner if I wasn’t gambling.My credit is shot to hell even tho I make good money and could easily pay my bills if it were not for the fact that i waste all or most of my paycheck every two weeks gambling.How stupid is that? I used to be so responsible. Saved money and paid my bills on time. I hate myself and the person I’ve become.If it were not for my 65 year old mother I don’t know how i would make it and care for my 10 year old daughter.
Every payday I tell myself I’m not going to throw my money away in the slot machines and I always end up sitting in front of those machines that I HATE and LOVE. I do love to gamble.I feel superior to every one else playing because I believe MY MACHINE LOVES me and is going to shower me with a big windfall that will enable me to have all the luxuries I desire and never have to work again. But this has NEVER come close to happening!!! That slot machine has never given me a tenth of what I’ve given it. I end up putting in thousands of dollars every payday until I’m almost broke.Sometimes I have been broke, hoping that the last hundred or twenty will make me win my money back..NEVER HAPPENS!! When will I learn? When will walking out of that casino feeling devastated and stunned at what I’ve just done and trying to keep a half-smile plastered on my face so the pain of feeling like the biggest FOOL in the world won’t show on my face when I pass the casino hosts and security guards on my way out be ENOUGH? I’ll tell you when-NOW !!! That casino is not going to get my next paycheck or any more of my hard-earned money.I lost my whole check and savings last night.I’m a sensible woman in all other matters but gambling has beaten me. I give up. It won.Please someone help me.I’ve got to stop now. My family doesn’t know. i’m tired of the secrets.