Back again…..and agan…again….and again….this is what we do when we cant sustain the changes we make in our lives.  We always go back to the very thing that makes us miserable.  Its very sad when you know exactly what your doing to yourself, family etc and yet your brain urges you to take the plunge….VERY SAD.   In fact, because I am so educated on every phase of this debilitsating disease, I fully realize where I am at as I have started to fantasize about ending it and looking at articles where others have succeeded.  Im broken, broke and tired of the struggle.  I have sympathy for everyone who lives our lives and I have admiration for those who have stayed away….Sadly we all know that the urges will never leave us – we just need to figure out how to keep it at bay…..Tomorrow marks another & FINAL Day 1 for me…..I will not have the strength to go through another relapse…good luck to all
Wishbone