This is where need to stop thinking that gambling is the way out of the problem we got ourselves into because of it. The cause of the problem very rarely is the solution to it and it certainly isn’t in this case. I realize that for every story of a person who won the jackpot that solved all their problems, there are a million stories of people who put their money in that very same jackpot. Behind every win, there are some else’s tears, pain and misery.
So, after 2 years and 3 months of gambling, during which I have been gamble free for about 2 months once and once more for a shorter period (and lets not count the days we couldn’t gamble cause there was no more money, cause we know we would have if we could!) this is my next attempt! This time I’m reaching out to people. This time I’m not trying to do it all by myself. This time I’m using the healing powers of communication, in writing for now and hopefully I’ll find some people to talk to face-to-face.
Let’s not kid ourselves by saying that this addiction is not a kind of weakness. It is! So let’s stop trying to be strong and carry it all by ourselves. I mean, the world is over populated anyway, right? So why on earth should anybody have to take care of their problems all by them selves? So I’m stopping that and I’m looking for people that will understand.
So this my personal day 2 of a new beginning. I don’t know if my financial problems will get sorted out without losing my apartment and I can’t look very far into the future, but I’m telling myself that in 2 years and 3 months I have broken down much of what I had built up in my adult life (I’m 35 now) and nothing good has come out of gambling, so why would it change now? It won’t! Or at least, the chance is so small that it’s just not worth it, cause the risk of falling further and further down that big black bottomless pit is SO much bigger. This is day 2 of thinking: for me there is absolutely nothing good about gambling what so frakking ever so let’s stay well away from it. Tomorrow will be day 3…