Like life itself gambling is a very complex thing, I think we could drive ourselves insane trying to figure out why, in the same way we could drive ourselves mad thinking what is life all about, if you believe in God what was there before God? If you believe in the big bang theory what created the space and things that float about in the atmosphere, where did hot and cold come from, the sun? How did that get there? In much the same way religious people just accept God I think we just have to accept the fact that we are addicted gamblers, but not lost causes.
Other than to satisfy our curiosities knowing the answer as to why we gambled in the first place maybe is not so relevant. Some might argue that if we knew this then we could fix the thing that caused us to gamble in the first place. I don’t think that would work, to be here looking for this answer you are already an addict, a compulsive gambler. You already have caught this disease; it’s incurable and progressive. You can’t prevent it, sadly it’s too late. What can you do? You can control it, you can’t control gambling, but you can control the addiction, you can enter into recovery from it but you will never be recovered.
Since I left Gordon House 20 months ago I have, at times, gambled nearly as ferociously as I used to, I have stolen and lied to get gambling money as well as borrowing nearly a year’s worth of wages to gamble.
I had a sort of epiphany In March last year and something clicked, I embraced the things I had learned in Gordon House above all how to be honest with myself, I have been entirely honest in my posts but have at times “neglected to say” one or two things. I can’t remember the dates of my gambles but know I have gambled at some stage in three out of the last 4 months. So have I gone backwards? I don’t spend too much time pondering that but I know it’s not at all good. I don’t post as much as I used to but when I do quite often I feel like I’m preaching, I’m preaching because I know.
I know there has been a lot of gambling by regular users lately, it’s been like a sort of mini epidemic and I was starting to wonder if it was a case of it being accepted as “normal” you know how our minds become pickled when we get thinking about gambling. It is an awful thing and can never be brushed under the carpet but it shouldn’t be normal. Once it felt like it was the normal thing to do but by continuing abstinence not gambling becomes the norm, honest it does.
I haven’t commented on all the threads but I do really know that feeling, don’t forget my last gamble was at the end of January so I’m no expert. I have noticed though that the majority of those that have gambled this year have been slot players and I wonder if there is something subconsciously telling us its ok because so’n’so done it. But it doesn’t matter really does it the main thing in order for us to live gamble free is to get through today without a bet. We can all do that we’ve all done it hundreds of times.
Maybe too much time is spent wondering about the whys and whatfors instead of dealing with today.
One thing I have learned thanks to Gordon House is the ability to change, so I don’t know if my views will be the same 5 years down the line, time will tell. I didn’t agree with GT’s belief that gambling can be un-learned but maybe that’s a topic I’ll leave for another weekend.
As always these are just my own views and opinions.
Geordie.
Recovery is priceless.– 18/02/2012 08:27:33: post edited by geordie18.